Alright, so my entire life I have had kind of weird interests. History, mythology, comics, sports, I'm kind of everywhere on the spectrum.
But today I finally realized what's going on.
See, I've always had this desire to be famous (doesn't everyone?), but I'm not really spectacular at anything- I'm decent and I can get pretty good once I try something, but no natural awesome.
I realized today why all of these things are: I'm going to discover Atlantis. (Or Cthulu...I'm find with either.)
I'm starting scuba diving today- the final skill I would really need.
See, discovering Atlantis would take a few things: knowledge of history and mythology, the ability to read maps and use GIS equipment, and some way to go down into the depths.
(And a lot of money...and high-tech equipment...but that's beside the point.)
I'm really excited that it's all coming together and making sense now! And to learn to scuba dive.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Spring Break
Spring Break is supposed to be the one time college students truly unwind, lay back, and just enjoy life.
False.
Spring Break is a time when students are avoiding their homework by all means necessary, not sleeping, and getting drunk because they can't stand the thought of one more day working in groups to do projects or writing one more goddamn page on the difference between using Chicago or APA citation styles.
Now, the last three spring breaks, I have lived by the first model. I went to Hawaii, I went to Japan, then I went to Norway- I enjoyed life a lot.
This spring break, however, the second model won. I worked on campus to try and get some money because I need a camcorder for Comic-Con!!!!
I also spent most of the time avoiding writing a paper on green taxes placed on travel...
Then I had to go exercising because I'm determined to actually be in shape for once in my life (or at least in my life since dancing which ended in like...second grade).
It was a hectic week! I've decided that Easter to graduation will be my actual Spring Break this year since everything is due before then or during finals time.
Relaxation, you are only one and a half months away!
False.
Spring Break is a time when students are avoiding their homework by all means necessary, not sleeping, and getting drunk because they can't stand the thought of one more day working in groups to do projects or writing one more goddamn page on the difference between using Chicago or APA citation styles.
Now, the last three spring breaks, I have lived by the first model. I went to Hawaii, I went to Japan, then I went to Norway- I enjoyed life a lot.
This spring break, however, the second model won. I worked on campus to try and get some money because I need a camcorder for Comic-Con!!!!
I also spent most of the time avoiding writing a paper on green taxes placed on travel...
Then I had to go exercising because I'm determined to actually be in shape for once in my life (or at least in my life since dancing which ended in like...second grade).
It was a hectic week! I've decided that Easter to graduation will be my actual Spring Break this year since everything is due before then or during finals time.
Relaxation, you are only one and a half months away!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Public Bathrooms
I know, I know, every person in the history of people has complained about public bathrooms. But doesn't that just kind of prove how badly they suck?
Now, some public bathrooms are awesome. For example: The Xcel Energy Center has fantastic bathrooms! They're gigantic, well lit, have enough sinks for everyone, and are always clean!
Then there are public bathrooms like the one on firsts floor of my campus library. Three stalls, two sinks, built for 5-year-olds in terms of height, width, and general usefulness.
And no freaking lights above the toilets! AND there's an overhang. Meaning you're in a nasty, shadowed little stall.
Yeah, they're dark, cramped, and everything is wet because we're all slobs when not responsible for cleaning up.
But the conditions of the bathroom are probably the most minor inconvenience about having to use a public bathroom.
The worst part is the anxiety most people feel.
One of the main rules to using a public bathroom- for both men and women- is to not go right next to the other person. You find that open stall or urinal that's four away from the person in there!
A lot of people can't even go while other people are in the same room. It's nuts.
Then there's trying to wash your hands. There's never a lot of soap, the water is either freezing or scalding, and the paper towel dispenser are always empty- leaving you with the option of using your pants or the completely ineffective air-dryer.
Now, some public bathrooms are awesome. For example: The Xcel Energy Center has fantastic bathrooms! They're gigantic, well lit, have enough sinks for everyone, and are always clean!
Then there are public bathrooms like the one on firsts floor of my campus library. Three stalls, two sinks, built for 5-year-olds in terms of height, width, and general usefulness.
And no freaking lights above the toilets! AND there's an overhang. Meaning you're in a nasty, shadowed little stall.
Yeah, they're dark, cramped, and everything is wet because we're all slobs when not responsible for cleaning up.
But the conditions of the bathroom are probably the most minor inconvenience about having to use a public bathroom.
The worst part is the anxiety most people feel.
One of the main rules to using a public bathroom- for both men and women- is to not go right next to the other person. You find that open stall or urinal that's four away from the person in there!
A lot of people can't even go while other people are in the same room. It's nuts.
Then there's trying to wash your hands. There's never a lot of soap, the water is either freezing or scalding, and the paper towel dispenser are always empty- leaving you with the option of using your pants or the completely ineffective air-dryer.
Friday, February 25, 2011
People Who Inspire Me
I decided to update my Facebook profile a little today by adding some more likes to books, music, video games, and TV.
But there's this fancy little "philosophy" section of the profile that I've never touched.
It wants things like my religion and my political affiliation. No one needs to know that kind of stuff, right?
But then there's this "People who inspire me" section.
Of course, I can ramble off how my mom and dad and extended family inspire me (which they do, don't get me wrong), or about Jesus or something equally as cliche, but then I tried to think about it for real.
Who are the people who inspire the way I think and feel and act?
Now, the sad truth of the matter is that I'm much more likely to be inspired by a book or a movie than I am by a person in general. There's just something about the emotions those can evoke that make them so inspiring. And then I can formulate my own original opinions and whatnot.
But, I thought about it and I came up with this list:
The Dalai Llama
Pope John Paul II
Misha Collins
Niccolo Machiavelli
Yeah, the last two are kind of "Are you serious?" worthy, but yes- I am serious.
The Dalai Llama and JP2 are two of my favorite spiritual leaders. Their main messages are about peace and working together in the goal of making a better world. This is especially impressive of JP2, who's kind of the only pope that non-Catholics like. That deserves a shout out in my mind.
They just kind of focus on the matter at hand- faith and goodwill. Do we really need anything more than those? Don't our religious identities kind of drive a wedge between us? (I have a nice long essay about this...be on the lookout for it!)
The last two are more about activism and politics.
Though unconventional in most of his life, Misha uses his influence to try and make a difference (this is where I should rave about Random Acts again). He just kind of goes for it because he knows that people want to help and do the things that he's doing, they just don't know how or who to trust or maybe never even really thought about it before.
Now, Machiavelli holds a special place in my heart because I kind of follow his political doctrine as described in "The Prince" - The ends justify the means and it is better to be feared than to be loved.
I know, that sounds awful of me, but I think there's a lot of truth in that.
I'm very politically minded...when it comes to politics. I do believe that the needs of the many should probably outweigh the needs of the few, but I also believe that the many who have the means should help provide for the few that can't.
I also believe that there are certain things that are bigger than politics (e.g. getting food and water to everyone on the planet); we need to recognize that we have an obligation, as humans, to help other humans. This isn't the Roman Empire, we don't have to try and eradicate all other villages, forms of government, and cultures.
Similarly, I believe that politicians would probably be better if people feared them. In the United States, we elect politicians that supposedly reflect our own values; then they spend their 2-year or 4-year or 6-year terms trying to get reelected. Those years? Pretty much wasted as far as legislation and productivity go.
Hence- fear is the ultimate weapon. If they're too afraid not to vote for you come election time, it's a lot easier to do what you feel is best. (Also, it's a lot easier to get someone to fear you than to like you...at least in my experience, anyway.)
So, there's my list of people that inspire me. People who mostly look beyond all the crappy things about the world and hit the point right in the heart.
Ultimately, this list is composed of people who get that everything we do should be about people.
...and the planet, but I don't feel like saying that Aldo Leopold inspires me in any way other than to take a nap.
Ok...I do like Aldo Leopold's ideas, but he's so dry and boring. But he does make one really good point- "Think like a mountain."
Recognize that everything you do will last for a long, long time. Make sure that they're good things.
But there's this fancy little "philosophy" section of the profile that I've never touched.
It wants things like my religion and my political affiliation. No one needs to know that kind of stuff, right?
But then there's this "People who inspire me" section.
Of course, I can ramble off how my mom and dad and extended family inspire me (which they do, don't get me wrong), or about Jesus or something equally as cliche, but then I tried to think about it for real.
Who are the people who inspire the way I think and feel and act?
Now, the sad truth of the matter is that I'm much more likely to be inspired by a book or a movie than I am by a person in general. There's just something about the emotions those can evoke that make them so inspiring. And then I can formulate my own original opinions and whatnot.
But, I thought about it and I came up with this list:
The Dalai Llama
Pope John Paul II
Misha Collins
Niccolo Machiavelli
Yeah, the last two are kind of "Are you serious?" worthy, but yes- I am serious.
The Dalai Llama and JP2 are two of my favorite spiritual leaders. Their main messages are about peace and working together in the goal of making a better world. This is especially impressive of JP2, who's kind of the only pope that non-Catholics like. That deserves a shout out in my mind.
They just kind of focus on the matter at hand- faith and goodwill. Do we really need anything more than those? Don't our religious identities kind of drive a wedge between us? (I have a nice long essay about this...be on the lookout for it!)
The last two are more about activism and politics.
Though unconventional in most of his life, Misha uses his influence to try and make a difference (this is where I should rave about Random Acts again). He just kind of goes for it because he knows that people want to help and do the things that he's doing, they just don't know how or who to trust or maybe never even really thought about it before.
Now, Machiavelli holds a special place in my heart because I kind of follow his political doctrine as described in "The Prince" - The ends justify the means and it is better to be feared than to be loved.
I know, that sounds awful of me, but I think there's a lot of truth in that.
I'm very politically minded...when it comes to politics. I do believe that the needs of the many should probably outweigh the needs of the few, but I also believe that the many who have the means should help provide for the few that can't.
I also believe that there are certain things that are bigger than politics (e.g. getting food and water to everyone on the planet); we need to recognize that we have an obligation, as humans, to help other humans. This isn't the Roman Empire, we don't have to try and eradicate all other villages, forms of government, and cultures.
Similarly, I believe that politicians would probably be better if people feared them. In the United States, we elect politicians that supposedly reflect our own values; then they spend their 2-year or 4-year or 6-year terms trying to get reelected. Those years? Pretty much wasted as far as legislation and productivity go.
Hence- fear is the ultimate weapon. If they're too afraid not to vote for you come election time, it's a lot easier to do what you feel is best. (Also, it's a lot easier to get someone to fear you than to like you...at least in my experience, anyway.)
So, there's my list of people that inspire me. People who mostly look beyond all the crappy things about the world and hit the point right in the heart.
Ultimately, this list is composed of people who get that everything we do should be about people.
...and the planet, but I don't feel like saying that Aldo Leopold inspires me in any way other than to take a nap.
Ok...I do like Aldo Leopold's ideas, but he's so dry and boring. But he does make one really good point- "Think like a mountain."
Recognize that everything you do will last for a long, long time. Make sure that they're good things.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Sleep-talking
It happens to everyone at some point in their lives. They're lying in their bed, all comfy and cozy because they haven't moved in four hours...
And suddenly they hear something.
They begin to panic- trying desperately to convince themselves that it's just their imagination or something equally harmless.
But it's definitely someone speaking. The tone and words are familiar, so they look over.
And their roommate is speaking.
Of course, you ask them a question because they freaked the hell out of you, and they respond with something that...almost makes sense.
But then they have no memory of such an event in the morning. And it leaves you wanting to cry a little.
Sleep conversations are really bizarre. I've been known to talk in my sleep and I've both amused and freaked people out.
Most recently, I sounded like Katie from Paranormal Activity, assuring my roommate that everything would be OK...but when I woke up I had no idea that I had said anything of the sort.
Another time, my brother and I had a conversation while sleeping. He was saying some nonsense about tanks and I was determined to find my Hogwarts blanket (I don't own a Hogwarts blanket, I've never seen a Hogwarts blanket).
My point is, sleep-talking is scary as heck but also very amusing.
And suddenly they hear something.
They begin to panic- trying desperately to convince themselves that it's just their imagination or something equally harmless.
But it's definitely someone speaking. The tone and words are familiar, so they look over.
And their roommate is speaking.
Of course, you ask them a question because they freaked the hell out of you, and they respond with something that...almost makes sense.
But then they have no memory of such an event in the morning. And it leaves you wanting to cry a little.
Sleep conversations are really bizarre. I've been known to talk in my sleep and I've both amused and freaked people out.
Most recently, I sounded like Katie from Paranormal Activity, assuring my roommate that everything would be OK...but when I woke up I had no idea that I had said anything of the sort.
Another time, my brother and I had a conversation while sleeping. He was saying some nonsense about tanks and I was determined to find my Hogwarts blanket (I don't own a Hogwarts blanket, I've never seen a Hogwarts blanket).
My point is, sleep-talking is scary as heck but also very amusing.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
iPod Shuffle
Once or twice a year an iPod shuffle meme comes out on the internet. (When I say "comes out" I mean that it has a significant number of people I know that actually fill it out.)
I've never actually done one of these before; in part due to my inability to really care what the soundtrack of my life sounds like, and in part due to the...wide variety of music on my iPod.
But I decided this sounded infinitely more interesting than cleaning computers- so I finished those up quickly so I could get to this.
Now, I've put my iPod on shuffle with all of my songs (I try to keep a playlist of songs that people might actually want to listen to for when we need music on car rides or at parties or cleaning...whatever one might need music for.)
So, here are the first ten songs:
1. "Because of You" -Kelly Clarkson
2. "Bat Out of Hell" -Meatloaf
3. "Cherry Pie" -Warrant
4. "The Agoge" -Tyler Bates (300 soundtrack)
5. "Turn the Page" -Bob Seger
6. "Benson's Animal Farm" -Dane Cook (this...isn't a song...)
7. "It's Not Over" -Daughtry
8. "Brothers" -Vic Mignogna (translated, it's originally in Russian and very pretty but I kind of like understanding the words)
9. "Wisdom, Justice, and Love" -Linkin Park
10. "Every Move I Make" -Andy Cloninger (Google seems to be telling me this was originally done by the David Crowder Band...I don't know)
The next five artists were: Foreigner, Linkin Park, Howard Shore, Nickleback, and 3 Doors Down.
Ok, so I've got pop music, some classic rock, instrumental soundtracks, anime song translations, worship music, and Linkin Park.
(IMO- Linkin Park is amazing and gets their own little category. Deal with it! I've loved them since like...fifth grade.)
Aaaannd I'm only on track 15 of 683.
Music is one of the things I blame my parents for- I grew up listening to primarily Harry Chapin and Neil Young. My first concert was Steve Miller Band.
So couple that with the fact that I've also never actively listened to the radio except during my horrible country phase, I'm doomed in the music department.
Also: Let it be known that country songs will never leave your memory. I haven't listened to country in over ten years but when I hear some of my favorites...the lyrics come rushing back.
In other news, it keeps snowing. This is a bad, bad thing. The snow situation looked so good until Thursday.
Then the planet was just kind of like "HA! You thought you didn't need to sandbag! Suck on this!"
(Maybe that's the solution! We should all just go eat the snow before it melts. Then none of us will be dehydrated, and the snow won't melt into the river! I am a genius!)
In other, other news- I've decided to try and become a book editor. No matter that I haven't actually taken an English class since high school!
I've never actually done one of these before; in part due to my inability to really care what the soundtrack of my life sounds like, and in part due to the...wide variety of music on my iPod.
But I decided this sounded infinitely more interesting than cleaning computers- so I finished those up quickly so I could get to this.
Now, I've put my iPod on shuffle with all of my songs (I try to keep a playlist of songs that people might actually want to listen to for when we need music on car rides or at parties or cleaning...whatever one might need music for.)
So, here are the first ten songs:
1. "Because of You" -Kelly Clarkson
2. "Bat Out of Hell" -Meatloaf
3. "Cherry Pie" -Warrant
4. "The Agoge" -Tyler Bates (300 soundtrack)
5. "Turn the Page" -Bob Seger
6. "Benson's Animal Farm" -Dane Cook (this...isn't a song...)
7. "It's Not Over" -Daughtry
8. "Brothers" -Vic Mignogna (translated, it's originally in Russian and very pretty but I kind of like understanding the words)
9. "Wisdom, Justice, and Love" -Linkin Park
10. "Every Move I Make" -Andy Cloninger (Google seems to be telling me this was originally done by the David Crowder Band...I don't know)
The next five artists were: Foreigner, Linkin Park, Howard Shore, Nickleback, and 3 Doors Down.
Ok, so I've got pop music, some classic rock, instrumental soundtracks, anime song translations, worship music, and Linkin Park.
(IMO- Linkin Park is amazing and gets their own little category. Deal with it! I've loved them since like...fifth grade.)
Aaaannd I'm only on track 15 of 683.
Music is one of the things I blame my parents for- I grew up listening to primarily Harry Chapin and Neil Young. My first concert was Steve Miller Band.
So couple that with the fact that I've also never actively listened to the radio except during my horrible country phase, I'm doomed in the music department.
Also: Let it be known that country songs will never leave your memory. I haven't listened to country in over ten years but when I hear some of my favorites...the lyrics come rushing back.
In other news, it keeps snowing. This is a bad, bad thing. The snow situation looked so good until Thursday.
Then the planet was just kind of like "HA! You thought you didn't need to sandbag! Suck on this!"
(Maybe that's the solution! We should all just go eat the snow before it melts. Then none of us will be dehydrated, and the snow won't melt into the river! I am a genius!)
In other, other news- I've decided to try and become a book editor. No matter that I haven't actually taken an English class since high school!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
The Keep a Straight Face Game
So, sometimes I just feel like we should invent games. It's a wonderful chance to be creative and have fun and stuff.
When I was a freshman in college my friend and I decided that it was completely fine to read porn while in public...as long no one knew what we were reading.
At the beginning of this game, you sit near each other- we generally sat across from each other. There was no reason for people to look at us, we were just two people looking at pictures of cats sitting on fruit or our neighbor's fugly baby that they won't stop pic-spamming.
But, we were most certainly not looking at adorable or generally stupid pictures and videos. No, we had embarrassing smutty stories on our screens.
The first encounter with such content generally brought on a reaction like this:
See, it's not that you're embarrassed at this point. You just weren't really expecting it- even knowing it would be there.
Fortunately, the other person is bound to run into the same thing.
You continue reading for a while, both probably getting absorbed into the story if it's any good. Then it happens, the story officially turns NC-17 and you generally remember you're in public.
This is where it gets tricky. Because at this point people are going to start noticing because you are STILL IN PUBLIC!
Even the douches who walk around listening to their iPods while talking on the phone and trying to check out a book or ask a question without stopping either of the prior actions are noticing something is going on.
That's when your Dumbass Facebook friend #36 who thinks you're BFFs because you hung out twice because a mutual friend promised booze comes up to make conversation.
You are so busted.
They're horrified. They can't even fathom why you would read such things- especially in public!
In fact, they probably dropped their $1,000 coffee from the campus coffee stand all over the carpet.
That's where you turn completely red and feel utter mortification.
When I was a freshman in college my friend and I decided that it was completely fine to read porn while in public...as long no one knew what we were reading.
At the beginning of this game, you sit near each other- we generally sat across from each other. There was no reason for people to look at us, we were just two people looking at pictures of cats sitting on fruit or our neighbor's fugly baby that they won't stop pic-spamming.
But, we were most certainly not looking at adorable or generally stupid pictures and videos. No, we had embarrassing smutty stories on our screens.
The first encounter with such content generally brought on a reaction like this:
See, it's not that you're embarrassed at this point. You just weren't really expecting it- even knowing it would be there.
Fortunately, the other person is bound to run into the same thing.
You continue reading for a while, both probably getting absorbed into the story if it's any good. Then it happens, the story officially turns NC-17 and you generally remember you're in public.
This is where it gets tricky. Because at this point people are going to start noticing because you are STILL IN PUBLIC!
Even the douches who walk around listening to their iPods while talking on the phone and trying to check out a book or ask a question without stopping either of the prior actions are noticing something is going on.
That's when your Dumbass Facebook friend #36 who thinks you're BFFs because you hung out twice because a mutual friend promised booze comes up to make conversation.
You are so busted.
They're horrified. They can't even fathom why you would read such things- especially in public!
In fact, they probably dropped their $1,000 coffee from the campus coffee stand all over the carpet.
That's where you turn completely red and feel utter mortification.
Monday, February 21, 2011
How I Know Penis Envy is Real
OK, so mostly "penis envy" is just guys trying to pretend they're superior to females. It's not true, but some of them do shine through and manage to be superior to...pretty much everyone.
But, there are a few things that convince me penis envy is real.
1. Peeing in the snow
I live in a state where snow is...let's say abundant. Snow is a wonderful thing! You can have so much fun with it: making snowmen, building forts, sledding or skiing.
But there's one thing I have to admit just sounds really satisfying: peeing my name in the snow.
I'm sure I could come up with some bullshit yet profound sounding psychological analysis as to why peeing my name in the snow is so appealing; but mostly I just think it would be fun.
The actual logistics of it kind of confuse me. How much pee would I actually have to have? Would I be able to stop the stream or would I have to write in cursive?
I don't know- but I want to!
2. Standing while peeing
OK, going to the bathroom is just an irritant- but at least guy's don't have to divest their entire lower halves to properly go to the bathroom.
It's just one of those things where it's like "God, that would be so convenient if I didn't have to waste all this time with my pants and underwear."
3. Peeing contests
OK, here's where we get to serious business. (Obviously the peeing in snow is very serious business- one degree more!)
Girls, we have nothing good for contests. It's all about one-upping each other: my boyfriend got me a bigger tapeworm, I threw up 632,448 times last year, my cramps are like if an Ewok and a Sand Worm mated and a Dalek raised the offspring in my uterus.
Seriously- period woes are one of the most common things girls talk about. Believe it!
Peeing contests are horrifying, disgusting, and I have to imagine they're ridiculously fun. Most of the female contests are just horrifying and disgusting.
I feel like there's probably some primal satisfaction with being able to pee the farthest (I dunno...something about virility?); but ultimately it's just stupid and fun. Everyone laughs, and everyone probably tries to hide the fact they accidentally peed on their pants or shoes.
But I think it would be really fun to run outside and pee as far as I could into the lake.
4. Better pay
I dunno...I think it's silly that the two genders get paid differently. If they have the same qualifications- pay them the same, right?
It's kind of unfortunate how gender issues are still an issue.
But I refuse to go on yet another Millennium Development Goals rant...as I'm writing this at 2 in the morning. So please don't judge me for anything you just read.
***Note: It occurs to me that there are a few...not safe for blogging reasons that validate the penis envy theory. Please know that I have considered these things and agree that they would probably be awesome.
But, there are a few things that convince me penis envy is real.
1. Peeing in the snow
I live in a state where snow is...let's say abundant. Snow is a wonderful thing! You can have so much fun with it: making snowmen, building forts, sledding or skiing.
But there's one thing I have to admit just sounds really satisfying: peeing my name in the snow.
I'm sure I could come up with some bullshit yet profound sounding psychological analysis as to why peeing my name in the snow is so appealing; but mostly I just think it would be fun.
The actual logistics of it kind of confuse me. How much pee would I actually have to have? Would I be able to stop the stream or would I have to write in cursive?
I don't know- but I want to!
2. Standing while peeing
OK, going to the bathroom is just an irritant- but at least guy's don't have to divest their entire lower halves to properly go to the bathroom.
It's just one of those things where it's like "God, that would be so convenient if I didn't have to waste all this time with my pants and underwear."
3. Peeing contests
OK, here's where we get to serious business. (Obviously the peeing in snow is very serious business- one degree more!)
Girls, we have nothing good for contests. It's all about one-upping each other: my boyfriend got me a bigger tapeworm, I threw up 632,448 times last year, my cramps are like if an Ewok and a Sand Worm mated and a Dalek raised the offspring in my uterus.
Seriously- period woes are one of the most common things girls talk about. Believe it!
Peeing contests are horrifying, disgusting, and I have to imagine they're ridiculously fun. Most of the female contests are just horrifying and disgusting.
I feel like there's probably some primal satisfaction with being able to pee the farthest (I dunno...something about virility?); but ultimately it's just stupid and fun. Everyone laughs, and everyone probably tries to hide the fact they accidentally peed on their pants or shoes.
But I think it would be really fun to run outside and pee as far as I could into the lake.
4. Better pay
I dunno...I think it's silly that the two genders get paid differently. If they have the same qualifications- pay them the same, right?
It's kind of unfortunate how gender issues are still an issue.
But I refuse to go on yet another Millennium Development Goals rant...as I'm writing this at 2 in the morning. So please don't judge me for anything you just read.
***Note: It occurs to me that there are a few...not safe for blogging reasons that validate the penis envy theory. Please know that I have considered these things and agree that they would probably be awesome.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
My New Love
Since all I really talk about on here is television and food, I'm going to tell you all about a fabulous new show on Syfy...
Being Human!
Now, it's a remake of a BBC series of the same name, but I hear that fans of the original series aren't disappointed by the newer version.
It actually sounds like the beginning of a bad joke: A ghost, a vampire, and a werewolf all live together; essentially playing house.
And by "playing house" I mean that they are trying to be "normal."
(Personally, I don't think anyone cares or knows what the f*** "normal" is. But I could probably rant about that so we'll see where that takes me another day.)
Anyway, so there's this ghost (Sally), a vampire (Aidan), and a werewolf (Josh).
Sally is super smart, and misses her fiancee. Aidan is hot and sexy and basically on vampire rehab. Josh...he's just adorable.
Of course, like any good drama, they all have super sad back-stories, heartbreak, and some other awful things (obviously they're kind of unfortunate as two of them are dead and one has a terrible monthly situation.
Now, I'm not entirely sure the best way to explain my love for this show. It's a lot like my love for Modern Family, except that the "family" are all supernatural creatures. (Also, can I laugh about my obsession with families and the supernatural? Seriously...I need help.)
Being Human definitely makes Mondays worthwhile. I mean...I actually look forward to Mondays now...Mondays, those horrendous days that I have to go to my pathetic capstone.
Except that starting next week Mondays are going to be fantastic- I'm going to be learning to scuba-dive!
(I feel that scuba-diving is a skill that will be really useful...for what I don't know. But if I somehow manage to become a famous writer I'm definitely attacking my dream job of working for National Geographic. They might need me to scuba...right?)
So yeah, if you start reading more about dear Josh, Aidan, and Sally, it's because I'm in love with this show!
And since I want them to get another season, you (yes you, reader! I know there's at least one of you!) should watch it! Mondays 8 and 10 central time on Syfy!
Being Human!
Now, it's a remake of a BBC series of the same name, but I hear that fans of the original series aren't disappointed by the newer version.
It actually sounds like the beginning of a bad joke: A ghost, a vampire, and a werewolf all live together; essentially playing house.
And by "playing house" I mean that they are trying to be "normal."
(Personally, I don't think anyone cares or knows what the f*** "normal" is. But I could probably rant about that so we'll see where that takes me another day.)
Anyway, so there's this ghost (Sally), a vampire (Aidan), and a werewolf (Josh).
Sally is super smart, and misses her fiancee. Aidan is hot and sexy and basically on vampire rehab. Josh...he's just adorable.
Of course, like any good drama, they all have super sad back-stories, heartbreak, and some other awful things (obviously they're kind of unfortunate as two of them are dead and one has a terrible monthly situation.
Now, I'm not entirely sure the best way to explain my love for this show. It's a lot like my love for Modern Family, except that the "family" are all supernatural creatures. (Also, can I laugh about my obsession with families and the supernatural? Seriously...I need help.)
Being Human definitely makes Mondays worthwhile. I mean...I actually look forward to Mondays now...Mondays, those horrendous days that I have to go to my pathetic capstone.
Except that starting next week Mondays are going to be fantastic- I'm going to be learning to scuba-dive!
(I feel that scuba-diving is a skill that will be really useful...for what I don't know. But if I somehow manage to become a famous writer I'm definitely attacking my dream job of working for National Geographic. They might need me to scuba...right?)
So yeah, if you start reading more about dear Josh, Aidan, and Sally, it's because I'm in love with this show!
And since I want them to get another season, you (yes you, reader! I know there's at least one of you!) should watch it! Mondays 8 and 10 central time on Syfy!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
So...It's a New Year...Right?
I have a serious problem when it comes to years switching. You'd think it wouldn't be that difficult, once every 365 days I have to add a year to whatever I've been saying the last 365 days.
Except...I find this impossible.
And it always manages to be one of the most irritating things ever- because it should probably be really simple.
For example, I'm writing my first check of the year:
Notice the epic fail to try and cover the fact that I can't remember that it's now 2011.
It's also irritating whenever I'm typing. I'm ready to turn in a final draft, and this happens:
I typed 2010...instead of 2011. Now, I'm typing, it's an easy error, but still...seriously? Did I really just do that?
So then I'm forced to backspace and fix it.
PS- Title pages are some of my least-favorite things ever. Nobody can really agree on a proper format so everyone's looks differently and we wasted several sheets of paper. (Probably even more because stupids don't catch their errors and have to retype their professor's name or something like that.)
Then there's the sad thing where you accidentally misspeak in presentations.
You accidentally say something like "last year" instead of "2009," and nobody notices...except you.
You get this horrible nervous feeling that nobody will take you seriously because you don't even know what year it is!
You correct yourself, and nobody in the audience actually thinks anything of it; but it's too late for your confidence.
Then finally, FINALLY, you adjust to the new year. You're writing your checks and papers correctly, and you don't misspeak during your presentation anymore (at least not about years). Everything is awesome.
Unfortunately, by the time you get used to it being 2011, it's already 2012.
Except...I find this impossible.
And it always manages to be one of the most irritating things ever- because it should probably be really simple.
For example, I'm writing my first check of the year:
Notice the epic fail to try and cover the fact that I can't remember that it's now 2011.
It's also irritating whenever I'm typing. I'm ready to turn in a final draft, and this happens:
I typed 2010...instead of 2011. Now, I'm typing, it's an easy error, but still...seriously? Did I really just do that?
So then I'm forced to backspace and fix it.
PS- Title pages are some of my least-favorite things ever. Nobody can really agree on a proper format so everyone's looks differently and we wasted several sheets of paper. (Probably even more because stupids don't catch their errors and have to retype their professor's name or something like that.)
Then there's the sad thing where you accidentally misspeak in presentations.
You accidentally say something like "last year" instead of "2009," and nobody notices...except you.
You get this horrible nervous feeling that nobody will take you seriously because you don't even know what year it is!
You correct yourself, and nobody in the audience actually thinks anything of it; but it's too late for your confidence.
Then finally, FINALLY, you adjust to the new year. You're writing your checks and papers correctly, and you don't misspeak during your presentation anymore (at least not about years). Everything is awesome.
Unfortunately, by the time you get used to it being 2011, it's already 2012.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Bieber Fever
I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but Justin Bieber is one of the most-mentioned people in my dorm.
We're three college females in our twenties...and we bring up Justin Bieber practically every day.
We don't listen to his music. We don't go out of our way to be exposed to him. Somehow...it just happened.
(I'm going to blame this one on Misha Collins and his "I <3 Justin Bieber" shirt, actually.)
Anyway, we have been discussing the Justin Bieber movie, Never Say Never, since we first saw previews for it. Mostly, we've been discussing whether or not we would go to it in a regular theater or wait for it to go to the cheap seats (I'd much rather pay $3 than $9 to see this movie, alright?).
We've also been endlessly amused/frustrated with his popularity and morals. Of course, it's hilarious when people make fun of him for looking and sounding like a girl; but then there's the fact that he spends $750 for a haircut every two weeks, believes that homosexuality is a choice, and thinks that abortion is flat-out wrong.
Whatever, people can believe what they want to believe- and he's only 16 or some nonsensical age like that, he'll learn.
But last night our, apparently, undying love for Biebs was revealed when my cousin posted this on her Facebook wall:
It's completely acceptable for her to have posted this, she's 12.
However, immediately after seeing it, I too posted it on my profile. (It's actually a series of five pictures. When you tag yourself in all of them it creates a banner where your first five images should be.)
It basically entertained us for an hour. We were making crappy jokes about being BBFs (Best Bieber Friends- because of course people who share this horrendous banner would have to come up with something as ridiculous as that), and seeing the movie in theaters because we have to see it on the BIG SCREEN!!!
Apparently, we find Justin Bieber endlessly entertaining and actually love him.
Who knew?
Also, this is one of my roommies' favorite sites:
Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber
Also also, though I'm not a lesbian, we decided to take pictures of me dressed like him because I- shamefully- had a haircut that allowed the comparison to be made.
(Note: we did this in January before we knew we loved him...)
We're three college females in our twenties...and we bring up Justin Bieber practically every day.
We don't listen to his music. We don't go out of our way to be exposed to him. Somehow...it just happened.
(I'm going to blame this one on Misha Collins and his "I <3 Justin Bieber" shirt, actually.)
Anyway, we have been discussing the Justin Bieber movie, Never Say Never, since we first saw previews for it. Mostly, we've been discussing whether or not we would go to it in a regular theater or wait for it to go to the cheap seats (I'd much rather pay $3 than $9 to see this movie, alright?).
We've also been endlessly amused/frustrated with his popularity and morals. Of course, it's hilarious when people make fun of him for looking and sounding like a girl; but then there's the fact that he spends $750 for a haircut every two weeks, believes that homosexuality is a choice, and thinks that abortion is flat-out wrong.
Whatever, people can believe what they want to believe- and he's only 16 or some nonsensical age like that, he'll learn.
But last night our, apparently, undying love for Biebs was revealed when my cousin posted this on her Facebook wall:
It's completely acceptable for her to have posted this, she's 12.
However, immediately after seeing it, I too posted it on my profile. (It's actually a series of five pictures. When you tag yourself in all of them it creates a banner where your first five images should be.)
It basically entertained us for an hour. We were making crappy jokes about being BBFs (Best Bieber Friends- because of course people who share this horrendous banner would have to come up with something as ridiculous as that), and seeing the movie in theaters because we have to see it on the BIG SCREEN!!!
Apparently, we find Justin Bieber endlessly entertaining and actually love him.
Who knew?
Also, this is one of my roommies' favorite sites:
Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber
Also also, though I'm not a lesbian, we decided to take pictures of me dressed like him because I- shamefully- had a haircut that allowed the comparison to be made.
(Note: we did this in January before we knew we loved him...)
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Interwebz Fail
Over the years, I have gone through the many stages of blogs and internet-usage.
Mostly, I pretend I never had a Xanga or a Myspace. I still use my LiveJournal, but only because fanfiction.net had really poor fanfiction and LJ has higher standards.
I recently- reluctantly- got Tumblr and Twitter accounts in order to better flood the internet with all the mindless drivel I write here. (Other people do it with shittier stuff right?)
But in an act of nostalgia, I signed up for a new Xanga. I'm never going to actually put anything there, but it certainly is familiar. I don't think their setup has changed at all since I got mine in 2003.
Not that any of the others have either- which is probably why people are so willing to forget them.
See, the almighty internet god Facebook continues to update and try to "improve" it's services.
What this actually does? Is inspire rage. Pure, unadulterated rage.
This rage is what keeps us coming back to Facebook. Regardless of the fact that none of us can actually remember the original layout, we are determined to prove that the changes were pointless and make it super crap-tastic to use.
Then we forget about the changes after raging about it. But they've hooked us until the next layout change.
(Not gonna lie, I really hate their new picture viewer. I think this is one change people will not soon forget.)
Anyway, that's my rant about internet technology and how easy it is to fail at it.
Mostly, I pretend I never had a Xanga or a Myspace. I still use my LiveJournal, but only because fanfiction.net had really poor fanfiction and LJ has higher standards.
I recently- reluctantly- got Tumblr and Twitter accounts in order to better flood the internet with all the mindless drivel I write here. (Other people do it with shittier stuff right?)
But in an act of nostalgia, I signed up for a new Xanga. I'm never going to actually put anything there, but it certainly is familiar. I don't think their setup has changed at all since I got mine in 2003.
Not that any of the others have either- which is probably why people are so willing to forget them.
See, the almighty internet god Facebook continues to update and try to "improve" it's services.
What this actually does? Is inspire rage. Pure, unadulterated rage.
This rage is what keeps us coming back to Facebook. Regardless of the fact that none of us can actually remember the original layout, we are determined to prove that the changes were pointless and make it super crap-tastic to use.
Then we forget about the changes after raging about it. But they've hooked us until the next layout change.
(Not gonna lie, I really hate their new picture viewer. I think this is one change people will not soon forget.)
Anyway, that's my rant about internet technology and how easy it is to fail at it.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
How to Eat at Olive Garden
I'm sure most of you have done it. You go out to eat that one time in about six months so you really want to make it count.
Of course, you go to Olive Garden. Because if you want to make it count, it should probably be semi-expensive/classy while still being relaxed and fun, right?
Well...I think so anyway.
But there's something glorious about this place- bread sticks. (I'm pretty sure they put crack in them.)
It's brilliant! You go there, eat a million of those warm, buttery, garlicy, break sticks; get some amazing salad or soup (seriously, chicken and gnocchi is like...the most glorious thing ever); and order your dinner.
But this is what you really have to focus on: eating as many bread sticks and bowls of salad/soup as you can.
Because then you get to take your food home!
You can get two delicious Olive Garden meals...for the price of one!
If you get really excited, you can have dessert while you're there...but usually it's harder to justify that. (Not that that stopped my group of friends on Valentine's Day!)
Of course, you go to Olive Garden. Because if you want to make it count, it should probably be semi-expensive/classy while still being relaxed and fun, right?
Well...I think so anyway.
But there's something glorious about this place- bread sticks. (I'm pretty sure they put crack in them.)
It's brilliant! You go there, eat a million of those warm, buttery, garlicy, break sticks; get some amazing salad or soup (seriously, chicken and gnocchi is like...the most glorious thing ever); and order your dinner.
But this is what you really have to focus on: eating as many bread sticks and bowls of salad/soup as you can.
Because then you get to take your food home!
You can get two delicious Olive Garden meals...for the price of one!
If you get really excited, you can have dessert while you're there...but usually it's harder to justify that. (Not that that stopped my group of friends on Valentine's Day!)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Technology I Approve Of
Sadly, I'm a little obsessed with technology. I've been "wired" for something like ten years. Heck, I learned to use VCR's when I was four.
I wish I was a little less nerdy about it, but hey- it gave me a job for four years and my PowerPoints always look fabulous.
Anyway, there happen to be two pieces of technology that I'm currently still kind of in awe of. They're not new...but I recently acquired them.
So, they happen to be: hookups between computers and TVs, and my new iPod software.
Seriously, the ability to hook my computer up to the television is like...the best thing that's ever happened to me. I may actually have to consider getting a Hulu+ account.
There's also my new iPod software. I recently upgraded to the 4th generation version and it's glorious! Not only can I have Netflix and Hulu on there, but I can track airplane schedules.
...and group things together!!!
I happen to have mild OCD so when I discovered that I can put all of my bookmarks in a "Bookmarks" box instead of having 15 different icons? Love!
It made me super happy that these things happened.
In other news, I decided to completely spam the internet with my mediocre blog just because I could. So I've set my brand new Tumblr and...Twitter accounts (I feel really gross that I signed up for both of these- seriously) to automatically update when I post here!
So yeah, shout out to technology!
As a side note, I'm currently watching Julie and Julia and I totally get her whole "sending things to the internet to nobody" feeling. Apparently blogging is like...the thing to do now? (Nevermind the fact that Xanga, Myspace, LiveJournal, and probably about 50 other blog sites have all failed miserably.)
So if anyone out there is, in fact, reading this, I appreciate it! And I hope I don't bore you too often. =P
I wish I was a little less nerdy about it, but hey- it gave me a job for four years and my PowerPoints always look fabulous.
Anyway, there happen to be two pieces of technology that I'm currently still kind of in awe of. They're not new...but I recently acquired them.
So, they happen to be: hookups between computers and TVs, and my new iPod software.
Seriously, the ability to hook my computer up to the television is like...the best thing that's ever happened to me. I may actually have to consider getting a Hulu+ account.
There's also my new iPod software. I recently upgraded to the 4th generation version and it's glorious! Not only can I have Netflix and Hulu on there, but I can track airplane schedules.
...and group things together!!!
I happen to have mild OCD so when I discovered that I can put all of my bookmarks in a "Bookmarks" box instead of having 15 different icons? Love!
It made me super happy that these things happened.
In other news, I decided to completely spam the internet with my mediocre blog just because I could. So I've set my brand new Tumblr and...Twitter accounts (I feel really gross that I signed up for both of these- seriously) to automatically update when I post here!
So yeah, shout out to technology!
As a side note, I'm currently watching Julie and Julia and I totally get her whole "sending things to the internet to nobody" feeling. Apparently blogging is like...the thing to do now? (Nevermind the fact that Xanga, Myspace, LiveJournal, and probably about 50 other blog sites have all failed miserably.)
So if anyone out there is, in fact, reading this, I appreciate it! And I hope I don't bore you too often. =P
Monday, February 14, 2011
A Tale of Two Teddies
Well, ok, it's not actually two teddies. It's just two stuffed animals (which I will forever refer to as plushies, fyi).
Last week, I got an Ebola plushie! And I love him.
But I think he's a bit sad. I mean...he's one of the deadliest diseases known to humans. He also happens to be a worm-shaped virus. (Viruses are the ones with no cure...)
I think he's lonely. I'm gone most of the day; and while my Golden Gate Bridge and chocolate frog are decent company, there's no telling what exactly the Don Quijote and Sancho Panza statue might be saying to him.
Now, because Valentine's Day is around this time and most of my friends don't have boyfriends, we sometimes get each other shit to make ourselves feel better.
I got them chocolate, they got me this adorable little guy:
Isn't he cute? (And he came with a mug that's one of those properly-sized ones! Yay!)
But look at him, he's just holding his heart out there, hoping someone will love him! So...I played matchmaker and introduced them!
And now they're like...OTP.
Last week, I got an Ebola plushie! And I love him.
But I think he's a bit sad. I mean...he's one of the deadliest diseases known to humans. He also happens to be a worm-shaped virus. (Viruses are the ones with no cure...)
I think he's lonely. I'm gone most of the day; and while my Golden Gate Bridge and chocolate frog are decent company, there's no telling what exactly the Don Quijote and Sancho Panza statue might be saying to him.
Now, because Valentine's Day is around this time and most of my friends don't have boyfriends, we sometimes get each other shit to make ourselves feel better.
I got them chocolate, they got me this adorable little guy:
Isn't he cute? (And he came with a mug that's one of those properly-sized ones! Yay!)
But look at him, he's just holding his heart out there, hoping someone will love him! So...I played matchmaker and introduced them!
And now they're like...OTP.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
A Week of Valentines: Part 6
Since I didn't post one yesterday, here are both of them for Saturday and Sunday!
Dear Valentine:
Oh my dear friend, I believe I must finally confess how much I love you. So...I love you...lots.
You act as my muse, oh artist. I will see you soon; and one day I will see you wrestling. And I will have all kinds of great memorabilia to sell on eBay.
...
We shall take a vacation one day! Maybe go to Canada? Wherever, so long as I'm with you!
Have a wonderful week!
-Maddi
***
Dear Valentine:
I wish an ocean did not separate us; but even that cannot distance our hearts.
One day, you will be here with me, and I shall reward you with a love of my hair. For I know you desire it.
...
We shall be together, with only Darren to come between us...and I should think neither of us would mind.
Farewell...for now ;)
-Maddi
Dear Valentine:
Oh my dear friend, I believe I must finally confess how much I love you. So...I love you...lots.
You act as my muse, oh artist. I will see you soon; and one day I will see you wrestling. And I will have all kinds of great memorabilia to sell on eBay.
...
We shall take a vacation one day! Maybe go to Canada? Wherever, so long as I'm with you!
Have a wonderful week!
-Maddi
***
Dear Valentine:
I wish an ocean did not separate us; but even that cannot distance our hearts.
One day, you will be here with me, and I shall reward you with a love of my hair. For I know you desire it.
...
We shall be together, with only Darren to come between us...and I should think neither of us would mind.
Farewell...for now ;)
-Maddi
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Yay Darwinism!
So, it's Charles Darwin's birthday today. I feel like I should give a little shout-out!
Whenever I see things like Jackass on TV, all I can think about is how I wish Darwin was a little more right.
Somehow, as humans, we manage to defy this simple concept- survival of the fittest.
Please note that "fittest" does not reference those most physically able, but those that seem to have better survival instincts.
It only makes sense right? If someone does something really dumb (like light themselves on fire while wearing highly flammable clothing), they should probably not reproduce.
Ever.
That's not to say that doing something stupid automatically removes your right to live...but if I ever hear that someone died doing something like that, I'm not exactly surprised.
The worst example ever is in horror movies. Why do they always go near the noise? Haven't they seen any horror movies?
I'm usually very happy to see these characters die.
Whenever I see things like Jackass on TV, all I can think about is how I wish Darwin was a little more right.
Somehow, as humans, we manage to defy this simple concept- survival of the fittest.
Please note that "fittest" does not reference those most physically able, but those that seem to have better survival instincts.
It only makes sense right? If someone does something really dumb (like light themselves on fire while wearing highly flammable clothing), they should probably not reproduce.
Ever.
That's not to say that doing something stupid automatically removes your right to live...but if I ever hear that someone died doing something like that, I'm not exactly surprised.
The worst example ever is in horror movies. Why do they always go near the noise? Haven't they seen any horror movies?
I'm usually very happy to see these characters die.
Friday, February 11, 2011
A Week of Valentines: Part 5
To the Star Wars nerd.
Dear Valentine:
Oh young Padawan, you still have much to learn. But that's alright, we can learn together.
We must live by the Force- which, as we both know, contains a light side, a dark side, and binds the universe together. But we cannot live as if it were duct tape; it cannot fix everything.
...
One day, we will go separate ways; and I dread it so! Let us strive to keep the balance (despite our different views on it =P)!
We shall see each other soon!
-Maddi
Dear Valentine:
Oh young Padawan, you still have much to learn. But that's alright, we can learn together.
We must live by the Force- which, as we both know, contains a light side, a dark side, and binds the universe together. But we cannot live as if it were duct tape; it cannot fix everything.
...
One day, we will go separate ways; and I dread it so! Let us strive to keep the balance (despite our different views on it =P)!
We shall see each other soon!
-Maddi
Thursday, February 10, 2011
A Week of Valentines: Part 4
Dear Valentine:
I wish we would be together forever; living in close proximity (despite the redundancy of that phrase).
If I thought I could compete with the pretty boys who hold your heart, I would steal you away.
...
Alas! Earwax.
All we have to share is a bathroom, a kitchen, pizza (several times a week), and links to NSFW fanfiction.
Have a beautiful day, Beautiful
-Maddi
In other news, I entered a campus poetry contest and actually won something. The poem is supposed to be about Nutella (it's a chocolate/hazelnut spread).
That's why you guys get a second little ditty today!
Oh creamy delight,
spreading chocolate goodness
across my breakfast.
But no, not mornings alone.
All day your hazelnut taste haunts.
What I would do were you not so ungodly expensive...
should not be written.
I wish we would be together forever; living in close proximity (despite the redundancy of that phrase).
If I thought I could compete with the pretty boys who hold your heart, I would steal you away.
...
Alas! Earwax.
All we have to share is a bathroom, a kitchen, pizza (several times a week), and links to NSFW fanfiction.
Have a beautiful day, Beautiful
-Maddi
In other news, I entered a campus poetry contest and actually won something. The poem is supposed to be about Nutella (it's a chocolate/hazelnut spread).
That's why you guys get a second little ditty today!
Oh creamy delight,
spreading chocolate goodness
across my breakfast.
But no, not mornings alone.
All day your hazelnut taste haunts.
What I would do were you not so ungodly expensive...
should not be written.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
A Week of Valentines: Part 3
Alright, here's the one to my roommate's sister.
Dear Valentine:
Remember last May when we first met? I do. Your beautiful face glowed over your sister's Skype.
I wish I had known you sooner, so that I would not need to defeat your boyfriend for your hand.
...
One day, beloved, you and I shall be free to be together! And we shall honeymoon at Hogwarts...assuming the sea does not rise up and swallow it whole.
Have a glorious hump-day! I shall see you soon!
-Maddi
Dear Valentine:
Remember last May when we first met? I do. Your beautiful face glowed over your sister's Skype.
I wish I had known you sooner, so that I would not need to defeat your boyfriend for your hand.
...
One day, beloved, you and I shall be free to be together! And we shall honeymoon at Hogwarts...assuming the sea does not rise up and swallow it whole.
Have a glorious hump-day! I shall see you soon!
-Maddi
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
A Week of Valentines: Part 2
Today, I wrote a letter to one of my roommates. I'm not actually as creepy as this implies, I swear.
Dear Valentine:
You should know I know where you sleep. I pass your door at night and think of what you do beyond.
All year we've danced around this unspoken desire. We weave our schedules to avoid those awkward moments alone.
...
But no longer can I hide! Not when my favorite part of the day is when you brush your teeth at night...
I desire to leave this place with you! Let us flee to Canada where we may exact our devious plots.
I await your reply, dear one.
-Maddi
(Seriously though, we should go to Vancouver and crash the Supernatural set.)
Dear Valentine:
You should know I know where you sleep. I pass your door at night and think of what you do beyond.
All year we've danced around this unspoken desire. We weave our schedules to avoid those awkward moments alone.
...
But no longer can I hide! Not when my favorite part of the day is when you brush your teeth at night...
I desire to leave this place with you! Let us flee to Canada where we may exact our devious plots.
I await your reply, dear one.
-Maddi
(Seriously though, we should go to Vancouver and crash the Supernatural set.)
Monday, February 7, 2011
A week of Valentines: Part 1
This week, I'm celebrating my perpetual singleness by writing Valentine's on my friend's Facebook walls.
Today's turned out pretty well, so I'm gonna post it here.
Dear Valentine:
I pine for you each day. My heart bleeds and I shed tears as if I have Ebola when you are gone.
If you were a color, you would be all of them as you are the light of my life and light is merely a combination of all colors.
...
If you were a fruit, your name would be passion.
Let is run away together, fire of my loins!
-Maddi
Today's turned out pretty well, so I'm gonna post it here.
Dear Valentine:
I pine for you each day. My heart bleeds and I shed tears as if I have Ebola when you are gone.
If you were a color, you would be all of them as you are the light of my life and light is merely a combination of all colors.
...
If you were a fruit, your name would be passion.
Let is run away together, fire of my loins!
-Maddi
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The Best of Infomercials
I have a terrible habit of watching infomercials if they're on. Ok, maybe that's a stretch, but I have the awful habit of watching four infomercials if they're on.
The four infomercials I watch are:
The Magic Bullet
The Bullet Express
The Redi-set-Go!
The Jack LaLanne Power Juicer
Each is kind of ridiculous, but aren't they all?
My favorite, by far, is the Bullet Express. The first time I watched it was by accident- the narrator happens to be a voice actor whose voice I recognized while channel-surfing.
But it's pretty much the most glorious thing ever!
"Mick and Mimi" are hosting a dinner party and their guests arrive and they haven't prepared any food! (Of course, there are two bitchy old women there to make things all ridiculous.)
Personally, I would be outraged and probably roast them up for dinner. But their guests are a bit more gracious than I am, apparently.
Because they are advertising for a "meal machine" rather than their epic Magic Bullet (which is great for small tasks like melting cheese for nachos or creating a bunch of individual beverages or desserts), they have to show some epic skills.
They make nachos, like the Magic Bullet, but f*** you if you think they're just gonna put a few clumps of cheese and a chopped up jalapeno like they did last time!
Nope, they're going to show you that this thing can frickin' grate cheese...ON TOP OF THE CHIPS!
Then! They shred chicken, tomatoes, and jalapeno on top of the cheese!
They're like "Ha! I totally just prepared a nacho platter in 30 seconds!"
See, they want you to believe they can prepare a bunch of meals in 8 minutes.
It's an impressive machine.
Then they move on to everyone's favorite: PIZZA!
"I made this dough from scratch...now watch me make some tomato sauce, grate some more cheese, and frickin' SLICE PEPPERONI on top of this thing!"
Then they make a rosemary turkey meatloaf (and put ketchup and brown sugar on top...), and potatoes au gratin (yeah, they slice the potatoes and the onions and grate more cheese they slice some veggies too...), then there's a "gourmet" salad...whatever that means.
Then they get onto the serious stuff.
Dessert!!!
Now, I love both the desserts they make: apple pie and new york style cheesecake. If I could seriously have those ready in eight minutes, I would eat it every day.
They point out some sweet things about this thing: all the shit goes directly into their containers, and it looks super easy to use, and it's dishwasher safe.
They use the word "consistency" about 15 times in half an hour.
But it's completely ridiculous to expect this to work in under 8 minutes. Mise en place fail is bound to destroy lowly not-paid users like me.
All that being said- I WANT ONE.
I want a Bullet Express, and I fully intend to own one in the future. AND I WILL REENACT THIS INFOMERCIAL.
It's stupid and ridiculous. But I love it.
And cheesecake. (The pie doesn't look quite as delicious as I expect my apple pie to look.)
The four infomercials I watch are:
The Magic Bullet
The Bullet Express
The Redi-set-Go!
The Jack LaLanne Power Juicer
Each is kind of ridiculous, but aren't they all?
My favorite, by far, is the Bullet Express. The first time I watched it was by accident- the narrator happens to be a voice actor whose voice I recognized while channel-surfing.
But it's pretty much the most glorious thing ever!
"Mick and Mimi" are hosting a dinner party and their guests arrive and they haven't prepared any food! (Of course, there are two bitchy old women there to make things all ridiculous.)
Personally, I would be outraged and probably roast them up for dinner. But their guests are a bit more gracious than I am, apparently.
Because they are advertising for a "meal machine" rather than their epic Magic Bullet (which is great for small tasks like melting cheese for nachos or creating a bunch of individual beverages or desserts), they have to show some epic skills.
They make nachos, like the Magic Bullet, but f*** you if you think they're just gonna put a few clumps of cheese and a chopped up jalapeno like they did last time!
Nope, they're going to show you that this thing can frickin' grate cheese...ON TOP OF THE CHIPS!
Then! They shred chicken, tomatoes, and jalapeno on top of the cheese!
They're like "Ha! I totally just prepared a nacho platter in 30 seconds!"
See, they want you to believe they can prepare a bunch of meals in 8 minutes.
It's an impressive machine.
Then they move on to everyone's favorite: PIZZA!
"I made this dough from scratch...now watch me make some tomato sauce, grate some more cheese, and frickin' SLICE PEPPERONI on top of this thing!"
Then they make a rosemary turkey meatloaf (and put ketchup and brown sugar on top...), and potatoes au gratin (yeah, they slice the potatoes and the onions and grate more cheese they slice some veggies too...), then there's a "gourmet" salad...whatever that means.
Then they get onto the serious stuff.
Dessert!!!
Now, I love both the desserts they make: apple pie and new york style cheesecake. If I could seriously have those ready in eight minutes, I would eat it every day.
They point out some sweet things about this thing: all the shit goes directly into their containers, and it looks super easy to use, and it's dishwasher safe.
They use the word "consistency" about 15 times in half an hour.
But it's completely ridiculous to expect this to work in under 8 minutes. Mise en place fail is bound to destroy lowly not-paid users like me.
All that being said- I WANT ONE.
I want a Bullet Express, and I fully intend to own one in the future. AND I WILL REENACT THIS INFOMERCIAL.
It's stupid and ridiculous. But I love it.
And cheesecake. (The pie doesn't look quite as delicious as I expect my apple pie to look.)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Why so awesome, Show?
A few nights ago, I discovered a spoiler for an upcoming Supernatural episode that has the potential to go a few different ways. One of these ways- may cause me to actually stop giving them ratings.
Of course, I'm not going to tell you all about that.
Instead, I'm going to tell you about why the latest episode both makes me squeal like the fangirl I am.
BUT! Before I do that I have to rave about my new roommate:
It's a stuffed animal of the Ebola virus.
Now, it's sad really, how much I love this little guy already. I've always had a relatively...unhealthy obsession with the Ebola virus. You can't see it, but it's one of the simplest little things, and super freaking tiny.
And yet...it has the ability to cause one to bleed from every orifice on their body!
Like most viruses, it begins so simple. You feel nauseous, you have a fever, you have some stomach pain...and then BAM! You will most likely die.
(Someone recently mentioned the potential for the flu virus and the Ebola virus to like...breed and create an airborne version of Ebola- this is terrifying!)
So just a little shout-out to my friend Chelsea who gave that to me for no apparent reason. (She's currently writing a "Hey! I'm traveling around and being awesome about it!" blog you can find here.)
Alright, onto the real stuff.
BEWARE SPOILERS BECAUSE I AM REFERENCING LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE
Ok, technically only a little of this could be considered a spoiler- but whatevs. In the interest of complete disclosure, you've been warned.
Last night was full of laughter and loud shrieks- only part of which was influenced by alcohol and random poking.
Sam FINALLY got his soul back! And it was almost everything I could have hoped for. The endearing puppy-dog pouting, the wonderful compassion he brings to their little team, THE HUGS!!!
The only thing that could have possibly made Sam's actual reunion with Dean better would be giving him his amulet (IMO THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN- I seriously have an obsession with that necklace).
But poor Bobby! I hate that they would add that horrible barrier between them. We already know Dean is Bobby's favorite! There's no need to rub salt in that wound!
And then Cas. Dear, dear Cas. First off, I'm glad you're telling Dean how it is, now. You guys keep up those reality checks!
Next, thanks so much for attempting to hug Sam! I was shrieking in delight at the sincerity/hilarity of the situation. Because, yeah, Cas could really use a hug I'm sure. And the non-hug almost made me cry, except that they claim it would be "awkward" and just kind of leave it at that.
(The slash fan in me is screaming that Dean is totally giving Cas hugging lessons. And "it would be awkward" to hug Sam because they both know how oddly protective/possessive Dean is. And Sam can't risk being caught hugging his big bro's bf. Yes?)
But shame!face that you spilled the beans about Sam's soul. Why wouldn't they tell him, of course, that's just sad. But I'm glad you appear to realize that Sam did not, in fact, know.
(Sorry, Cas, you know you're sleeping on the couch tonight. But maybe Dean will hug you if you tell him Sam wouldn't?)
Aside from all the glorious emotional drivel, there are a few things that literally made me bounce in my seat.
They mention: World of Warcraft, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and the Neverending Story!
I cannot tell you how delighted my inner nerd is!
Also, Dean should totally read out of girl's diaries some more- I loved that Sam said it was weird hearing him say something about "giving his most precious gift" to "Brent." (Please let it be known that this was also definitely on Sam's mind when he didn't hug Cas- it was not just fear of Big Brother.)
Also, also, Dean, please explode more priceless artifacts after they pwn your ass. Seriously? Why the hell did you start carrying C-4 around with you?
Dear Dragon-Slaying Sword: I <3 you FOREVER for being so difficult while having epic music. It made Dean's failure that much more enjoyable.
Now a side-note: I don't think the writers know where the f*** they want to take this.
It's like they're horrified that they need a plot that will last into the next season (because it seems like they're getting one), and need to keep developing characters (read: we're just living by the whole "one step forward; two steps back" trope but instead it's more like 5,000 steps back).
...you make me sad.
Of course, I'm not going to tell you all about that.
Instead, I'm going to tell you about why the latest episode both makes me squeal like the fangirl I am.
BUT! Before I do that I have to rave about my new roommate:
It's a stuffed animal of the Ebola virus.
Now, it's sad really, how much I love this little guy already. I've always had a relatively...unhealthy obsession with the Ebola virus. You can't see it, but it's one of the simplest little things, and super freaking tiny.
And yet...it has the ability to cause one to bleed from every orifice on their body!
Like most viruses, it begins so simple. You feel nauseous, you have a fever, you have some stomach pain...and then BAM! You will most likely die.
(Someone recently mentioned the potential for the flu virus and the Ebola virus to like...breed and create an airborne version of Ebola- this is terrifying!)
So just a little shout-out to my friend Chelsea who gave that to me for no apparent reason. (She's currently writing a "Hey! I'm traveling around and being awesome about it!" blog you can find here.)
Alright, onto the real stuff.
BEWARE SPOILERS BECAUSE I AM REFERENCING LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE
Ok, technically only a little of this could be considered a spoiler- but whatevs. In the interest of complete disclosure, you've been warned.
Last night was full of laughter and loud shrieks- only part of which was influenced by alcohol and random poking.
Sam FINALLY got his soul back! And it was almost everything I could have hoped for. The endearing puppy-dog pouting, the wonderful compassion he brings to their little team, THE HUGS!!!
The only thing that could have possibly made Sam's actual reunion with Dean better would be giving him his amulet (IMO THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN- I seriously have an obsession with that necklace).
But poor Bobby! I hate that they would add that horrible barrier between them. We already know Dean is Bobby's favorite! There's no need to rub salt in that wound!
And then Cas. Dear, dear Cas. First off, I'm glad you're telling Dean how it is, now. You guys keep up those reality checks!
Next, thanks so much for attempting to hug Sam! I was shrieking in delight at the sincerity/hilarity of the situation. Because, yeah, Cas could really use a hug I'm sure. And the non-hug almost made me cry, except that they claim it would be "awkward" and just kind of leave it at that.
(The slash fan in me is screaming that Dean is totally giving Cas hugging lessons. And "it would be awkward" to hug Sam because they both know how oddly protective/possessive Dean is. And Sam can't risk being caught hugging his big bro's bf. Yes?)
But shame!face that you spilled the beans about Sam's soul. Why wouldn't they tell him, of course, that's just sad. But I'm glad you appear to realize that Sam did not, in fact, know.
(Sorry, Cas, you know you're sleeping on the couch tonight. But maybe Dean will hug you if you tell him Sam wouldn't?)
Aside from all the glorious emotional drivel, there are a few things that literally made me bounce in my seat.
They mention: World of Warcraft, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and the Neverending Story!
I cannot tell you how delighted my inner nerd is!
Also, Dean should totally read out of girl's diaries some more- I loved that Sam said it was weird hearing him say something about "giving his most precious gift" to "Brent." (Please let it be known that this was also definitely on Sam's mind when he didn't hug Cas- it was not just fear of Big Brother.)
Also, also, Dean, please explode more priceless artifacts after they pwn your ass. Seriously? Why the hell did you start carrying C-4 around with you?
Dear Dragon-Slaying Sword: I <3 you FOREVER for being so difficult while having epic music. It made Dean's failure that much more enjoyable.
Now a side-note: I don't think the writers know where the f*** they want to take this.
It's like they're horrified that they need a plot that will last into the next season (because it seems like they're getting one), and need to keep developing characters (read: we're just living by the whole "one step forward; two steps back" trope but instead it's more like 5,000 steps back).
...you make me sad.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Earth is Purgatory
Now, I know a lot of people don't buy into this idea of "Purgatory." A place where all you do is wait for your time to go up.
But what if purgatory is just that state of waiting? Isn't that basically what we all do? Wait our entire lives for something?
Something good, something bad, something amazing or horrific.
Yeah, sometimes things happen. But generally, it happens when we die.
What if Earth is actually what Purgatory is?
Those that die young have already achieved "judgment;" and those that die old are still waiting for theirs.
Then there are those that don't just wait. They kick ass and take names and take life by the balls...so to speak.
I guess this idea kind of speaks to "Only the good die young." (Which is not true. Some good people live nice, long, active lives.)
This also helps me find an explanation for Déjà vu. You know, that sensation that you've experienced a moment before? Kind of like you have a really vivid memory of that time.
And what if Purgatory, or the life we think we're leading, is just a way to give us a sort of second-chance?
One of my favorite images is of a corner in Purgatory where there's a pool directly connected to Hell. Souls get to cycle through this pool and surface every so often to beg forgiveness of the souls they wronged.
They get to continue this until those souls have passed into Paradise. If they are never forgiven, they remain in Hell.
I really like this because it kind of offers an idea that one's initial fate isn't final, and that one must rely on and place trust in other people.
Anyway, that's kind of why I find this idea interesting. It's kind of depressing, thinking that we might all actually be dead, but ultimately I think it's a neat concept.
But what if purgatory is just that state of waiting? Isn't that basically what we all do? Wait our entire lives for something?
Something good, something bad, something amazing or horrific.
Yeah, sometimes things happen. But generally, it happens when we die.
What if Earth is actually what Purgatory is?
Those that die young have already achieved "judgment;" and those that die old are still waiting for theirs.
Then there are those that don't just wait. They kick ass and take names and take life by the balls...so to speak.
I guess this idea kind of speaks to "Only the good die young." (Which is not true. Some good people live nice, long, active lives.)
This also helps me find an explanation for Déjà vu. You know, that sensation that you've experienced a moment before? Kind of like you have a really vivid memory of that time.
And what if Purgatory, or the life we think we're leading, is just a way to give us a sort of second-chance?
One of my favorite images is of a corner in Purgatory where there's a pool directly connected to Hell. Souls get to cycle through this pool and surface every so often to beg forgiveness of the souls they wronged.
They get to continue this until those souls have passed into Paradise. If they are never forgiven, they remain in Hell.
I really like this because it kind of offers an idea that one's initial fate isn't final, and that one must rely on and place trust in other people.
Anyway, that's kind of why I find this idea interesting. It's kind of depressing, thinking that we might all actually be dead, but ultimately I think it's a neat concept.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Class-Time Doodles: Palin-Drone
Every Wednesday night I have a stats class. It only meets once a week, but it's compiled of the three most painful hours of my week.
It has one saving grace: the fact that "stats" is a palindrome. And I love palindromes.
Mostly because it sounds like a horrible robotic rendering of Sarah Palin.
This week, I really didn't feel like paying much attention; and since I sit in the back of the classroom, why not draw?
So, I finally brought the Palin-Drone to life:
Sadly, she is crushing hopes, dreams, freedoms, small children, kittens, and puppies!
All because she's too busy reading Politics for Dummies to watch where she's going.
It's terribly sad.
However, this definitely entertained me during class. I spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out how to draw her tank-link "legs"...but an engineer I am not.
Basically, I enjoyed my class a lot more than usual last night.
It has one saving grace: the fact that "stats" is a palindrome. And I love palindromes.
Mostly because it sounds like a horrible robotic rendering of Sarah Palin.
This week, I really didn't feel like paying much attention; and since I sit in the back of the classroom, why not draw?
So, I finally brought the Palin-Drone to life:
Sadly, she is crushing hopes, dreams, freedoms, small children, kittens, and puppies!
All because she's too busy reading Politics for Dummies to watch where she's going.
It's terribly sad.
However, this definitely entertained me during class. I spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out how to draw her tank-link "legs"...but an engineer I am not.
Basically, I enjoyed my class a lot more than usual last night.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Surviving Minnesota Winters
Minnesota is a treacherous state. It can jump from 30 degrees to -30 in the span of a day, is freakishly deceptive in the temperature, and is just all around too windy for the amount of snow and the temperatures that it has to interact with.
That being said, I'm stuck in class on a day when most schools listen to the weather advisory that says "Hey! Stay inside or your nose will fall off!"
People from Minnesota have learned to adapt fairly well, there are certain rules that we learn early on or else we have to deal with nice cold appendages.
People who aren't from Minnesota, on the other hand, generally are surprised to find just how flippin' cold it actually gets here.
Here's a few of those rules:
1. Learn to layer, and layer well.
Seriously, it's OK. You can wear a long-sleeve shirt under a short-sleeve shirt under a sweatshirt or zip-up.
And no, under armor is not just for working out. It can go under jeans too.
Fleece socks = Win
2. Trick yourself into believing that a sunny day is a warm day.
Tricking your mind is crucial. Walking outside into the sunny weather and believing that it's warmer than it is makes everything better.
True, there's no cloud-cover to actually make it warmer, but convince yourself otherwise!
3. Put a blanket in your car...actually, just keep blankets everywhere.
You can never be sure when your car will break down or a freak snow-storm will destroy everything. Fleece blankets are glorious. They will always warm up fast and are very effective for only being ten bucks and very thin.
4. Learn to walk quickly.
If it takes you more than ten minutes to walk a mile- work on that. Walking quickly is sometimes the only thing between you and dying a sad frostbitten death.
5. Know the quickest path between buildings.
Though it might take me ten minutes to walk between one of the campus buildings and my dorm, I really only have to spend two minutes outside. It's wonderful to have a good passage between buildings. Find them!
That being said, I'm stuck in class on a day when most schools listen to the weather advisory that says "Hey! Stay inside or your nose will fall off!"
People from Minnesota have learned to adapt fairly well, there are certain rules that we learn early on or else we have to deal with nice cold appendages.
People who aren't from Minnesota, on the other hand, generally are surprised to find just how flippin' cold it actually gets here.
Here's a few of those rules:
1. Learn to layer, and layer well.
Seriously, it's OK. You can wear a long-sleeve shirt under a short-sleeve shirt under a sweatshirt or zip-up.
And no, under armor is not just for working out. It can go under jeans too.
Fleece socks = Win
2. Trick yourself into believing that a sunny day is a warm day.
Tricking your mind is crucial. Walking outside into the sunny weather and believing that it's warmer than it is makes everything better.
True, there's no cloud-cover to actually make it warmer, but convince yourself otherwise!
3. Put a blanket in your car...actually, just keep blankets everywhere.
You can never be sure when your car will break down or a freak snow-storm will destroy everything. Fleece blankets are glorious. They will always warm up fast and are very effective for only being ten bucks and very thin.
4. Learn to walk quickly.
If it takes you more than ten minutes to walk a mile- work on that. Walking quickly is sometimes the only thing between you and dying a sad frostbitten death.
5. Know the quickest path between buildings.
Though it might take me ten minutes to walk between one of the campus buildings and my dorm, I really only have to spend two minutes outside. It's wonderful to have a good passage between buildings. Find them!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Annoying Bodily Reactions
Alright, so there are some things the human body does that really irritate me. I understand why it happens, I just think we should work on it not happening.
1. Itching after being cold
After struggling through below-freezing and often below-zero temperatures, it's wonderful to get back in whichever nice, warm building that was your destination.
...until your body starts warming up.
Hands and feet are awful! As soon as they start warming up...they itch! It's horrible! Nothing stops it! I generally end up wanting to go back outside to make the itching stop.
My roommate just informed me that for her it feels more like a burning sensation. I would agree with this, but it definitely feels like itching to me.
2. Needing to pee due to alcohol
I really dislike this one. Alcohol has been around for a long, long time. Why have our bodies not adapted to this fact and made our bladders stronger against it as a diuretic?
Apparently not.
It's one of my least-favorite parts to drinking. You go, and then you have to keep going!!!
3. Untimely arousal
Now, this one is really really unfortunate. And I know that it happens, so don't question me!
It's really annoying when you're sitting there, pretending to pay attention while really reading fanfiction on your laptop or iPod, and then it happens.
Suddenly all you can think about is having sex.
It's even worse for teenage boys. For them it's just kind of like "Reason? What the hell is that?" and suddenly they have to shift on the uncomfortable stools in the science classrooms to try and make themselves more comfortable and less-obviously hard.
I kind of feel bad for them...
4. Random noises to surprise/terror/shock/ etc
This might sound weird, but most people I know make very distinct noises when something has shocked or excited them.
Some people find these noises very annoying. They're usually high-pitched and scratchy.
...I dunno.
5. Saying "ow" even when it didn't hurt
This one really confuses me. It doesn't matter if we got hit with a wad of paper or a seven-ton-steel pipe, we will respond "ow."
It's just a reflex. It's the most simple way to say we disliked the action taken against us.
And yet...it's so ridiculous. Why not "hey!" or just "oh come on!" nope, it has to be "ow!"
1. Itching after being cold
After struggling through below-freezing and often below-zero temperatures, it's wonderful to get back in whichever nice, warm building that was your destination.
...until your body starts warming up.
Hands and feet are awful! As soon as they start warming up...they itch! It's horrible! Nothing stops it! I generally end up wanting to go back outside to make the itching stop.
My roommate just informed me that for her it feels more like a burning sensation. I would agree with this, but it definitely feels like itching to me.
2. Needing to pee due to alcohol
I really dislike this one. Alcohol has been around for a long, long time. Why have our bodies not adapted to this fact and made our bladders stronger against it as a diuretic?
Apparently not.
It's one of my least-favorite parts to drinking. You go, and then you have to keep going!!!
3. Untimely arousal
Now, this one is really really unfortunate. And I know that it happens, so don't question me!
It's really annoying when you're sitting there, pretending to pay attention while really reading fanfiction on your laptop or iPod, and then it happens.
Suddenly all you can think about is having sex.
It's even worse for teenage boys. For them it's just kind of like "Reason? What the hell is that?" and suddenly they have to shift on the uncomfortable stools in the science classrooms to try and make themselves more comfortable and less-obviously hard.
I kind of feel bad for them...
4. Random noises to surprise/terror/shock/ etc
This might sound weird, but most people I know make very distinct noises when something has shocked or excited them.
Some people find these noises very annoying. They're usually high-pitched and scratchy.
...I dunno.
5. Saying "ow" even when it didn't hurt
This one really confuses me. It doesn't matter if we got hit with a wad of paper or a seven-ton-steel pipe, we will respond "ow."
It's just a reflex. It's the most simple way to say we disliked the action taken against us.
And yet...it's so ridiculous. Why not "hey!" or just "oh come on!" nope, it has to be "ow!"
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