Why I have a blog...

There are two goals in mind for this blog:
1.In the style of Allie Brosh (hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com), I'm hoping that I can simply become famous before I graduate so I never have to decide on a real career.
2. Let's prove the "Six Degrees of Separation" theory right! If you like what I write, tell a friend, and have them tell a friend, until all the friends everywhere have been notified.

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

The State of the Union

 I have been saying, recently, that the United States are gone and there is only America. America was the glistening paradise, Camelot, the land of dreams...was.

For decades Americans have been able to rest on laurels, both rightly deserved and sometimes unjustly taken. None of the following is exhaustive, but they are important aspects of history that are easily glossed over.


Just a little note, I will be breaking one of the first rules of writing about history in that I’m going to use “we” a lot. I know myself and most people that would read this weren’t alive for most (if any) of what I’m writing about, and I know we all don’t like to feel guilty for things that aren’t “our fault.” But the issues, the history, I’m summarizing here continue to affect millions of people- and the majority of Americans still descend from the groups that were at fault...and we do have a responsibility to make reparations and move forward. Particularly since we now know how trauma carries from generation to generation.


The first colonists came seeking religious freedom, a value we continue to hold tightly to today. But some faithfuls, regardless of creed, advocate that their religious beliefs should be law...the very practice being escaped some 400 years ago. 


Our first colonists drove Native Americans from their ancestral lands. Sometimes with compensation...sometimes with violence. These practices continued, for centuries, until through wars and illness and deadly relocations resulted in reservations as we know them today. Even then conversion and cultural assimilation were tactics used to continue to destroy languages and cultures deemed “lesser.” Today we can tout services and programs and scholarships...but few of which are appropriately managed or advertised- and many that come too late to break negative cycles.


Then came the trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. And cash cropping. And a death toll and abuses that can never truly be accounted for. Families torn apart and kept in unthinkably horrid conditions. Children taken from their parents- sold- because they were viewed as property. Slave status followed the mother’s, and many owned their own children as a result from rape. “But the Civil War!” “But the Emancipation Proclamation!” Let’s remember share-cropping, a cycle that benefitted former slave owners and kept freed people indebted when they had nowhere else to go and nothing else to their name. Even then it wasn’t enough. Faced with large numbers of men who could now vote for the first time, literacy tests, poll taxes, and myriad other means were enforced to keep those voices silent until 1965.  


Our dedicated forces helped win both World Wars...but not without ignoring the problems for far longer than we discuss in our history classes. Our country was pulled from the Great Depression not by “our bootstraps,” but by profiting from manufacturing arms. We don’t discuss the massive loss of human life in Japan both during and after the atomic bombs were dropped, we discuss the affront to the American people in the attack on Pearl Harbor. We certainly don’t discuss that Russia, one of our strongest allies in WWII, had killed millions of its own people systematically in the 1930s- and continued to do so into the 1950s.


We barely discuss that it wasn’t only Jewish people being targeted by Nazi Germany, but other ethnic minorities as well. We don’t discuss that it was also anyone with disabilities. We don’t discuss that it was also homosexuals. But given our focus on the Jewish population we also don’t discuss that the global population has never recovered. 


Similarly we rarely discuss such unpleasantries that look bad upon reflection: the Chinese Exclusion Act in particular is missed. Japanese internment camps (we say internment because somehow we’ve been led to believe they were different than concentration camps). We don’t discuss non-involvement in things like the Armenian genocide (or any other genocides under the Ottoman Empire) despite acknowledging and providing aid...because we didn’t step in to stop it. 


We don’t discuss United States led imperialism. What we call “Westward Expansion” and “Manifest Destiny” are pretty words to hide the atrocities that resulted in our modern landscape. And this imperialism wasn’t just “at home.” No, we also don’t discuss the occupation of the Philippines until after WWII.That our military presence in Japan has led to a “pro-American” indoctrination and they are still not allowed a standing military. The fact that Hawaii was a recognized kingdom and the US took that too. 


Ask yourself what you learned about US History. Were you told about the Trail of Tears? The Massacre at Wounded Knee? Was it more important to know that each enslaved person gave a slaveholder ⅗ additional vote...or that some people in Europe crossed the sea as an indentured servant? Did you learn about Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad? Rosa Parks and her bus seat? Martin Luther King Jr. and pacifist sit-ins? I imagine probably so, but were the reasons why discussed? Were you told that it was about ending segregation? Were you told that until the 1960s many people of color still couldn’t vote? 


The most basic of American ideals was the concept of representation, yet at every turn there have been obstacles for those who weren’t white of European descent. Sure, there were exceptions there too (see: Irish need not apply), but they essentially prove the rule. 


When we discuss “rights,” remember that you do have the right to swing your fist- but that right ends at your target’s nose. You have the right to practice religion, have guns, say whatever you want...but if those ultimately infringe on other people’s rights you should face consequences. 


Americans are at a crossroads, and we have so many possibilities ahead. We’ve left a year that has highlighted so many of the dysfunctions in our country- and those aren’t going away simply because the calendar has moved forward. But we can embrace our history, learn from it, do better by acknowledging our flaws. We can’t change what happened but we can change what’s happening and will happen in the future. 


We can’t take back the last four years with a little “Whoops!” footnote. We can’t pretend that our Capitol wasn’t literally breached by domestic terrorists. We can’t pretend we aren’t culpable for that too because this country has failed each and every citizen by sweeping its failings under the rug and blaming the other party for using the broom even as they hold the rug up for them. 


Some apologist historian out there is already writing about how Donald Trump, 45th President of the United States, will not be remembered for the myriad lies, or the lack of decorum, or being impeached (possibly twice)... but as someone who saved America evidenced by the tidal wave of civic engagement and interest in politics and governing. 


This will ignore, of course, the complete lack of understanding many people had for the processes and legalities they questioned if not outright opposed. But they volunteered as a poll watcher for the first time. Some voted for the first time. Some contacted their legislators to make sure their voice was heard for the first time. 


Every problem, every institution we saw highlighted in 2020 has been known, documented, reported on, studied for years. And we’ve failed to correct them at every opportunity. 


Because America believed they were better than and “saving” Native Americans.

Because America accepted completely nonsensical “evidence” that Blacks weren’t human.

Because America rejects education- particularly liberal arts.

Because America allows money and industry to mean more than lives. 

Because America ignores and forgets its blame and seeks to punish those who oppose. 


We can’t continue like this. We can’t keep sticking our heads in the sand and pretending our way is best when our people are going hungry and homeless at rates similar to the Great Depression. We can’t keep saying our “Founding Fathers” got it right- we’ve already decided they didn’t have a full picture 27 times!


We give up certain freedoms to participate in a civilized community. Sometimes this means things like wearing a mask so you and others can all feel comfortable regardless of your own thoughts on the matter. 


When the majority of the country are not accurately represented by their government, something in the process needs reworking. When a system whose founding was calculated on the backs of disenfranchised enslaved people persists and creates misrepresentation, that system needs reworking.


If the premise of the United States, and thus the federal government is the pursuit of life, liberty, and property, then the federal government should ensure equal footing in those pursuits. This means providing things like basic income, healthcare, housing, and -yes- education. Anything beyond is on the individual, and that’s okay. 


When people don’t have to work to live, they are more productive to society. When everyone has healthcare, and thus the freedom to shop, better insurance and provision of services happens. 


Small, local businesses are the heart of what made America, but they are dying under capitalism. The current system continues to allow consolidation of companies under various loopholes, until there won’t be anything left


At the end of World War II the United Nations drafted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. The United States agreed- but you would be surprised how many times America has found itself in violation. Similarly the Millennium Development Goals...most of which are issues in our own country. 


I can’t cover all or solve any of these problems, obviously. I’m really just here to say that we’re not doing good...and we can’t afford to lie to ourselves about it any longer. 


Monday, November 23, 2020

Supernatural 15.20 (Carry On): The Most Imperfect Perfection

 Let me begin with the most sincere thanks to the cast and crew of this show. It's been an amazing ride and I could spend days writing about what this show means to me and so many others. 

It's because of that devotion the fans are incredibly split on the finale, the episode that resolves the Winchester brothers' tale. Regardless which camp one falls into, based on what's been discussed we all were a little cheated by covid because it taxed the entire production and stifled some possibilities. 


The final episode was always going to be painful, and it was always going to be perfect for the boys...because Jared and Jensen would never allow nor deserve otherwise. 


This finale was a love letter to their start back in season one. We see the boys on their own, fighting vampires- a season one big bad staple, John's journal making one last appearance, Dean's love of pie. The Impala and the open road and even Sam's adorable baby hoodie I would pay money to see held up against the original because that's a laugh we could all use. (There's dozens of other beautiful parallels but the outfits and the "Hey, Sammy" got me bad.)


Jensen should win every award for once again delivering a phenomenal performance. Dean's death was heartbreaking, and the nod to always keep fighting had me ugly crying even harder. 


I think every fan can agree that if they weren't going out together, Dean was always going to die before Sam. Driven home at the time he makes a desperate deal at the end of season two is a simple fact: Dean never wants to live without his baby brother. 


Sure, he tried- made a good go at that apple pie life after Sam jumped in the cage- but that was over as soon as a djinn walked up to him in a bar.


Signs of Dean's depression in 15.20 were subtle, but spoke volumes. His room has usually been a decent compass for Dean's state of mind, and here we see it littered with pizza boxes and beer bottles. A carelessly "made" bed. Finding a dog and allowing it on Baby's leather seats, Dean found some hope...some will. Miracle returning to the bunker as Dean's support, an extra tether and reminder to keep living- even if it's for someone or something else. I think this is important because we saw at the beginning of season 13, very clearly, Sam wasn't enough anymore. There was too much grief and loss and Dean was more than prepared to die then on a relatively simple hunt...to finally break free of the vicious cycle of pain and perceived failure. But not without Sam's say so, because Dean's raison d'etre has always been Sammy. 


The signs of Sam's resignation hinted at from the time Dean spent in purgatory, the way Sam has always seemed to make romantic connections (not solely physical), has hinted that Sam would walk away from hunting...and the only thing keeping him in the life is Dean. (This is where I have to insert some interpretation because I've always felt this was far more a Dean self-deprecating perspective than a sincere narrative).


All this leads to: Dean's final breath after Sam permits is so tragic and beautiful and fitting. 


Similarly, Jack's reshaping of heaven is perfect. The paradise he was always meant to usher in, true free will both on earth and heaven- the Winchester legacy. 


The true nod to the family and love shared by the boys and everyone they knew and saved in life. The orphan they took in and helped raise ascending to protect everything the Winchesters fought for. Castiel assisting as a final declaration of love for humanity, but with clear understanding it was to give Dean what he deserves after his fight.


And the assurance that Sam would be along before he could even miss him.


Sam lives out his life, marrying, raising a child, clearly passing on some kind of knowledge of hunting...living for a new Dean the way his brother always lived for him.


The final scene, Dean greeting Sam in heaven, was the perfect end. The brothers who saved the world time and again FINALLY at true peace. Soul mates ready for a brave new world together with all their family and friends able to live out everything they may have missed in life.


Like I said, the ending was always going to be perfect for the boys. Both spent their final days masquerading as men with reasons, carrying on until laying their weary heads to rest...and heaven was waiting for them. 


So why the vitriol? Well, this has been a 15 year journey and characters change...every author will tell you someone always surprises them. And, well, this ignores a lot of that. 


Because in being a love letter to season one...it places them smack back into the plot they'd fought 15 years to break out of. Because season one was part of Chuck's plan, and the ending he showed Sam earlier in season 15 had a pivotal "one last hunt"...of vampires. With the added salt in the wound of an unresolved John Winchester hunt that fucks it all up for both of them...feels a lot like they didn't win after all.


Dean, for example, was obviously in a different place than season 13- he was trying, even if old bad habits die hard. His story genuinely seemed to be hinting towards retirement, though the general theme of being tired remains. Season 10 we see Dean finally say he's not ready to die, that this life isn't all he is. The questions Dean asked of Jesse and Cesar, in season 11, again suggest far more that he's not tired of life, he's tired of fighting and anger and the betrayals. By the end of season 13 he was legitimately talking about retiring. But Chuck just kept throwing bigger and bigger bads at them and Dean was thrown, once again, into a series of sacrificial motions. Free of that, Dean seemed destined to try really living.


Castiel gives him the tool to firmly reshape his view of himself- the unconditional love from a celestial being asking for and taking nothing. That leads Dean to continue despite the depression; to apply for a job and take in a dog despite disliking them his whole life. He was trying to make all the sacrifice mean something...only to die shortly after? Even with the excuse of losing so called "plot protection" it feels cheap, and cruel. At least give the boy a year, even if we know it never would have been enough. 


But who knows, maybe Dean's life depended on him choosing a throwing star that would distract the vampire and mean a non-lethal impact with the rebar, if any.


Dean's funeral is, to me, one of the biggest travesties. I'm blaming covid because the legendary Winchesters would draw a crowd any day, but Dean made so many connections with so many people. Gave love so freely the whole world could lay claim. Dean deserved the Tony Stark funeral (or heavenly reception) and Sam shouldn't have had to burn him alone.


Leaving Sam to live a life he hinted he no longer felt was for him, to stop hunting and live as he knows Dean wanted him to also feels a bit hollow. It reads like living his life not for himself or his wife or child but for his dead brother...going through the motions until he, too, dies almost entirely alone save for the last Winchester. We see here the Sam Dean never wanted- one that couldn't really move on from him.


Not saying he didn't appear at least somewhat content or even happy, but the imagine of his aged self crying alone in the Impala felt like a common occurrence. 


Then there's the question of all the others. The question of the family that didn't start or end in blood that were absent from Sam's life and Dean's death (except for Bobby). Again, blaming covid but I feel like they could have found a way to use archive footage.


They should have found a way to have Misha there. I doubt Jared and Jensen had much say in the matter but I like to believe they'd have fought for that if able. Because to exclude someone who also gave a solid decade of their life to this, to exclude a character they've time and again acknowledged as their best friend, their third (fourth?) brother, is so hurtful. The few mentions aren't enough, the name carved into the table isn't enough, the exclusion from the "season finale" the week before only makes it worse. I get not wanting to have to address the whole Destiel of it all but I guarantee people would have rather had him there than any real resolution to that. (Less seriously, was Dean wearing Castiel's tie during their interviews because I kinda think he was which is another mild balm on my soul.)


These points are where I think fans feel most betrayed. Because if the rest of the characters, even Castiel, don't matter then it's easy to surmise...the rest of the SPN family doesn't matter either...and most of us don't see ourselves in this episode, getting to say goodbye to the boys through the secondary characters we came to love and relate to.


I have to think they meant this to give us, the audience, that same mandate: Carry On, but in minimizing the finale to the boys and the paths they were on in season one...I think the messages of what made this show so loved got lost.


Personally, it also felt very rushed. I'd have waited two years and watched a 2 hour movie to resolve some of these. Because I think the outline is perfect, but the devil is in the details and since Jack is Lucifer's son, well...they've got work to do.

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Miss Jean Louis

Miss Jean Louis- loyal servant to our populist overlord Misha Collins- has been our steady source of unhelpful riddles throughout 2016's round of GISHWHES.

A braver soul than all of us, Miss Jean Louis is full of important, rare, talents. We'll be discussing one of them today: the ultimate nanny.

Now, many consider Mary Poppins to be the epitome of nannydom. But, honestly, Jane and Michael were basically saints when compared to Misha. Somehow, Miss Jean Louis manages to keep him in line and keep all of us informed on the goings on of the behind the scenes world (all while still managing a life and a few charitable organizations on the side- nbd for someone who is clearly a time lord).

So, while each of us is humiliating ourselves in the name of charity (at least that's what we tell our parents) Miss Jean Louis is off doing what time lords do best: taking care of their companions while bemoaning the fact that it's really all their own fault that they're in the mess they are.

So, thanks, Miss Jean Louis, for helping us be successful (and keeping the item count under 200)!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

I'm sorry Jesus!!!!

It occurred to me today that I have *never* missed posting in an August since I began this blog. Even though I only had one post in 2013 and only this one so far in 2014, I have always managed to write at least one post during the month of August. That being said, I would like to share a story from my days at the hotel (which ended a year and a half ago):

So, the holidays are really slow at my hotel. We mostly cater to a business crowd so they're all having terrific vacations with their families unlike those of us in the service industry.

Anyway, since it's slow, the computer has to entertain me for hours. Otherwise all there is for me to do is polish silverware and stemware and whatever-other-kinds-of-ware.

Feeling nostalgic, I began looking up some friends I haven't spoken to for a while on Facebook. See- this is what Facebook was created for. Keeping up with people who now live long distances from you.

That being said, I looked up this guy that I knew in high school. Junior year to be exact. That I definitely had a crush on.

Unfortunately, this guy was also studying to be a Catholic priest and was five years older than me.

Basically, I just bitched and moaned about how nothing would ever happen while my friends were all thinking that I'm an idiot. They were so, so right. Looking back, I probably would have shot me if I were them.

The last time I ever spoke to this guy, I was at Taco Bell. Long story short, I poked him with a straw. That was it. I just poked him with a straw and there was nothing more. I was feeling all elated that he chose to sit next to me after I sat away from him.

Apparently I should not have done that.

I later found out that he had decided to take a break from seminary, he had joined right after high school and wanted to make sure it was the right path for him.

It became a running joke that it was my fault he "turned from God." I admit, I always felt kind of bad because what if they were right?! (And if they were, dude! I was only a year away from being legal! Come on!)

Okay, now to the point of this post. I practically need to go to confession if it is "my fault" that he left the seminary.

...Because he now works at a bar, watches Family Guy, Death Note, FullMetal Alchemist, Battlestar Galactica, and Stargate SG-1.

He also listens to Lady Gaga.

Dear God: I apologize.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Small Talk

So funny story, at least I hope it's funny because I laughed an inappropriate amount while thinking it. Today at work (I have left the hotel to join the people of the light once again- goodbye forever night shift!), I was extremely hungry. I'm a bit stupid and forgot to bring a snack to tide me over lunchtime to when I get to go home and eat again.

Anyway, occasionally there's food just sort of sitting in our break room. It's a free-for-all and today I was much more excited to see food in there than I was on Monday. Monday there was week-old cake in the break room. If anyone who doesn't know me is reading this- I dislike cake. Frosting makes me gag and the texture is just...not to be discussed.

Today, though, today there were some muffins in there. Chocolate chip muffins to be exact. This is important information because I'm not just talking about bran muffins or something else that's only appropriate for breakfast- or better yet, never.

So, being of hungry stomach and drastically slowed down mind, I took one of these muffins back to my office.

There's only one problem- I actually share my office with another of my coworkers. So I'm sitting here sneaking bites of this muffin like I'm breaking the law or something. All to avoid one simple thing: small talk.

Because, sometimes, you just don't want to talk about the muffin you're eating.

Small talk revolving around what one is eating is the absolute worst! They'll be sitting there, making observations about your food and the fact that you're eating- possibly even asking you questions like "Oh is that blueberry?" or, god forbid, "Is it any good?"

And the whole time they're speaking at you, you're sitting there chewing, eyes like a deer's in headlights, wondering why the hell you thought you needed this muffin so badly that this penance escaped your mind when you grabbed it.

Anyway, my muffin is almost gone now. I've evaded an awkward conversation...for now.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

It just keeps getting better...not!

*Dusts off soapbox* Ahem.

Last year I decided to attempt and be an advocate for a few things that I feel fairly strongly about: people not giving a damn about other people, universal access to clean water, same-sex marriages, etc. Each of these issues is important to me and I would love to take my little soapbox all the way to D.C. to bitch at the people who are being so ignorant about all of it.

But today is a special day. Today I want to rant about legislation that directly affects me. To begin I want to say that I am not as well-educated on this subject as I am on the other issues I've discussed. I don't have a lot of pretty statistics to write down or any fancy and convincing quotations from experts. or anything like that. What I have is a brain and feelings, and I want to have those feelings heard- if only be the internet.

So, let's just get this sort of taken care of right here: I'm going to be ranting about all this extremely terrible legislation involving rape and abortion. And I'm fairly certain this is not going to be pretty.

When I first learned about rape I was told, repeatedly, that it was not about sex. It's about power and control. (Unfortunately for the second part of my ranting, it's still sex, but we'll get to that.) I'm not sure when the psychology of rape was lost on all these politicians, but it seems like they've never heard this concept. I get that some of them may be a little older than this being taught in schools- but why the hell aren't they researching this subject in depth?

Not to mention the biology of it- I know they learned about that. Or at least learned enough to know what sex is and what sex isn't. Unless they're just a bunch of virgins and can't admit it because they have four kids.

Now, what confuses me most about all of this hullabaloo is this idea of "legitimate rape."

Let me say that again: Legitimate. Rape.

As if somehow being raped isn't bad enough, now there's a question about whether or not it was legitimate. "Oh, I'm sorry, it appears your body had an involuntary reaction to this forced act, clearly that was a conscious decision on your part and you liked it.

Or, my favorite, "You were in an area, alone, at night, where you know there would be other people. Why do such a thing when you know something like this could happen?" "Why wear such a short skirt and a tube top unless you wanted some?"

I mean, what? Somehow you are responsible for things your body does, like...oh I don't know, yawning after seeing someone yawn. Sure there's a slight difference because yawning isn't traumatic, nor does it often bring out your fight or flight response. But still- the idea is the same. It's an involuntary response to a stimulus.

And this whole business about "asking for it"? What. The. Hell? Maybe someone, somewhere, has one of those domination kinks where something like this is desirable. But for the majority of us? Uncomfortable, humiliating, and all around demoralizing.

Yes, I'll have a side helping of "my life is shit" tonight. I really needed something truly horrible to happen to me to make everything else in my life look just that much worse.

I love when that happens, don't you? Somehow adding another crappy thing to my life makes everything okay. So of course I would encourage such a thing.

Barf. Just...barf.

And, finally, this whole thing where, if a woman is impregnated during rape it's not actually rape because "the body has natural defenses to stop itself from getting pregnant if it's rape."

Um...what? I think I smell something, and it's not formaldehyde because they clearly skipped biology.

Where do they get this information? Do they live in that world that Katie talks about in Horton Hears a Who where everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies? Just...no.

Sorry, the body cannot somehow distinguish between forced ejaculate and....happy ejaculate. It's all sent into the body in the same way. A woman has the same chance of getting pregnant during rape that she does any other time sex happens.

There are a lot of things I partially understand. Hell even this new Arizona legislation I'm going to bitch about makes some sense.

What I don't understand, is why this kind of stuff exists in politics. To be so completely ignorant and just plain stupid should not be allowed in the public sphere- and certainly not out there making the laws that govern us. Keep your stupidity to yourself.

Which brings me to my next topic- this new law in Arizona that defines pregnancy as starting at the end of the previous menstrual cycle.

See, this almost makes sense to me. I get that the idea is that the ovum is technically beginning it's maturation. So the potential for life exists. I get it.

But...come on. Really? Unless that egg is fertilized that day, there's no potential for life. Honestly, even if the deal was that it was something ridiculous like "once conception has occurred the pregnancy is considered to have started the first time the female participated in coitus after the termination of the previous menstrual cycle." (Like how fancy that sounded?) See- then at least the potential for conception existed. Still stupid.

And all of this bureaucratic bullshit is focusing on one thing- abortion laws.

I'm not sure if I've said this on here, but I'm pro-choice with a very pro-life mentality. I don't want abortion to exist, I certainly don't want my taxes to go towards it, and I always hope that there's another option for those women to choose.

But God help you if you try to take that right away from women. Because as much as I don't want it to happen- those women are going to make that choice regardless and I want the safest possible environment for them and will defend them


It takes a lot of guts to go through with an abortion. Because every time they go into that clinic, people will insulting them, telling them they are horrible people, and generally making the whole situation even more stressful than it is by default. There's no reason that these protestors should be allowed anywhere near that building.

But this is America. And we're free to do shit like that.

One more time: This is America. Let's try and uphold those values we've been trying to- you know that whole freedom thing?

The most startling thing in all of this is that most of these legislators, the people making laws that affect women and their bodies and mental state, are men.

I honestly cannot think of anything more insulting and horrifying as a bunch of men who don't know basic biology and psychology making laws that affect woman where biology and psychology are important factors. 

So to these men who just want to "protect unborn lives," just...fuck off.  If you're so concerned with the global population go have sex with your wife and your five mistresses and leave the policy-making to someone who understands what they're talking about.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Reading...Or Something Along Those Lines

Alright, so I have a little ranty-rant that I've gone over about 20 times with people in real life, so here I am to bring it to the internet.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I'm usually not a reader, but..." since the horror that is Twilight was unleashed on the unsuspecting masses.

I was standing in a checkout line in Target a few years ago and this woman behind me had a copy of New Moon in her hands. It was the only item she was purchasing. I told her to go put it back before she regretted it.

Her response: "Well, I'm usually not a reader, but these books are really good! It only took me three days to finish the last one."

I imagine this is the mindset of most of the people who really enjoyed the Twilight books, and most of the popular crap out there today. They don't actually read often enough to recognize when bad things are published.

I, less than politely, told her that the first book had tricked her into thinking it was good because it was easy to read. They are actually at a 4th grade reading level- which probably says more about reading habits than anything.

It took me four hours to read each of the Twilight books- that's 16 hours total and I sorely wish that I had that time back.

Don't get me wrong- props to Smeyer for writing four books.My problem is that people are so enthralled with something that's just...not good.

I admit, part of me is probably just really upset that people keep comparing it to Harry Potter. I mean... that's like comparing an apple to a fire-breathing dragon (haha, ironically the cover of the first Twilight book has an apple on it and the first Harry Potter book has a fire-breathing dragon- comparison win!)

The thing about Twilight that's truly tragic is that there's really nothing good that can come from it. There are no good morals or characters to strive to live up to. I mean, really, the protagonist is a blah girl who moves and falls in love with a creepy stalker. She spends most of her time worrying about the fact that she's growing older and won't be attractive to him anymore.

Then she gets married. And has a baby. The end.

For example, Beauty and the Beast has sometimes been mocked as a story about Stockholm Syndrome and all the main character does is fall in love and get married.

Except that at least there's a deeper level in that Belle has to overcome society norms regarding what one should find attractive.

What does Bella do? Falls in love with a "Greek god" figure.

There's also nothing truly original about it. I guess it's kind of interesting that becoming a vampire enhances ones psychic ability- even if it's completely latent when a human. But there's massive potential to recreate well-known mythology and make it something different.

Again- Harry Potter. Rowling managed to create an entire fantasy world that has redefined what we think of wizards and magic.

Even the Percy Jackson series- which I admit I thoroughly enjoyed- managed to revamp the classics and build a new perspective for younger audiences.

Vegetarian vampires are not a new concept. Vampires having psychic abilities isn't new. Vampires being able to go out in sunlight isn't new.

The sparkling is new, but almost not even worth mentioning.

Alright, enough ragging on Twilight. I just needed to get all of that out to get to the main point- Parents really need to start reading books before they let their kids read them.



I'm not saying kids can't think for themselves and choose what they want to read. But seriously- what kids read affects the way they think and act. Do you want your sons to grow up to be stalkers because Edward did it? Do you want your daughter to name-smash your name with her mother-in-law's (okay, worse things could happen, but I think it's stupid so it belongs here)?

Monday, July 9, 2012

Traveling Woes

I love the internet, it's a nice way to see and learn things in a convenient way (particularly at 3 am the day a big research paper is due). Unfortunately, it has a HUGE downside- photos of places across the globe.

I'm kind of a travel junkie- I've known this for a long time. But when I'm bored at work and the internet draws me in, I inevitably add another location I want to see before I die. I'm basically to the point where I'll have to be a hitchhiking hobo to see everything I want to.

 But, as much of a desire as I have to see all the countries and all the things everywhere, I feel like I need to appreciate the US as well.

I've been to 25 of the 50 states- I'm super determined to make all 50 happen. I have a list of places that I think people need to experience here.

I saw a picture of Zion National Park- I MUST SEE IT! Garden of the Gods too! Gonna take a nice long geology field trip! :D

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

And now for something completely different

Actually, this is pretty much like the crap I was posting on here last year. I would say last post was something completely different and I felt super squicky after I realized I actually posted it.

Boo Past Self! Boo!

Anyway, I was standing around doing nothing at work as usual- trying desperately not to fall asleep after a random bout of insomnia that caused me to get about three hours of sleep (it was closer to three and a half, but who's counting that extra half hour? Certainly not my REM cycles!)- when I began thinking about Disney.

Disney is a beautiful, horrible, thing.

I grew up on Disney movies, my friends grew up on Disney movies, and any children that I'm involved in the upbringing up will damn well grow up on Disney movies.

The primary difference between my generation and the next will be this: media.

When I was a kid, I had to learn how to fast forward through crappy previews (okay, I used to watch them!) and remember to rewind or be pissed at myself the next time I wanted to watch that same movie.

That being said, my Disney collection- and that of many of my friends- is beginning to deteriorate.

Years of loving these movies has caused the tapes to become worn and sad, colors muted and sound just a teensy bit off. One of my roommates VHS cases is literally falling apart, damn plastic covering.

This realization was horrible- what if the next time I put in Tarzan was the time the VCR decided it was snack time?!

Thus, I have been slowly upgrading my Disney collection to DVD. But, honestly, it makes me feel kinda dirty- like I'm betraying the person I was and my entire childhood.

I don't have many, but I have Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King, which are really all about anyone needs. But I'm thinking I kind of need Mulan and Tarzan.

I dunno...just a thought.

Monday, March 26, 2012

When crappy metaphors become your life

Sometimes I feel like we're two pages in a book- one an odd page and the other even. There are times when we're back to back- can hardly comprehend that the other page is just there on the other side contributing to the story. Other times we're face to face, understanding perfectly where one is coming from and the other is going.

I guess both situations are necessary for a book to work, there'd be no real story otherwise. I suppose it's also important that there be times that pages just need to be turned, otherwise there'd be no sense of anticipation and it wouldn't be a very good book at all.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Brainwaves- A Study on Friendship

Have you ever had one of those moments where you and a friend or family member of yours have said the exact same thing at the same time? I've had several of these myself, and they have influenced my thinking on how humans make friends.

See, you know about brainwaves, they're just a natural rhythm that is formed by the electric current running around in your head.

I like to think of them as radio frequencies.

I imagine that relatives are simply born within a close range of frequencies, like a mother is set at 97.4FM and her child is like a 97.6FM- close but not quite the same. Depending on the location, one frequency can get a blip of another nearby "station."

This is how we make friends. Statistically, someone is bound to have the same/a very similar frequency as you- regardless of how complete unrelated you might be. Someone who broadcasts on the same frequency has similar thought processes and interests because everything pings at the same speed.

And that's why I think we're all basically just radios picking up on other radio stations.

Friday, January 27, 2012

"Roughing It"

So, when I was younger my brother played hockey. This was kind of a big deal where I come from- like 80% of males play hockey until high school (okay, I made that number up but it's probably fairly accurate).

Anyway, once they hit traveling hockey age (like...9) it gets to be a huge commitment. There are only a few weekends out of three and a half months where you won't be on the road at least partially.

Not having any family immediately by, and being a good big sister, I was along for most of these trips. (I got perfect attendance a lot before this- then I just started laughing at the concept of a full week of school.)

My brother and I are about three and a half years apart in age, the only thing we really had in common was a mutual love of our parents and cousins.

Until traveling hockey.

He was now old enough to share my love of Pokemon and DragonBall Z; we would sometimes swap games for our Gameboy.

Then we got the most amazing thing ever- A PS2.

No, it doesn't sound good anymore what with modern gaming consoles- BUT IT WAS GLORIOUS THEN! Because it not only played DBZ Budokai or Backyard Baseball (which I was pretty terrible at), but it played DVDs.

My parents got a little converter that plugged into the cigarette lighter and could generate enough power from that to power a little television we had placed between the driver and front passenger's seats AND the PS2.

(As a side-story, I sort of resent that television- it ended up eating my Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring VHS.)

It was amazing. Five hour drive to frickin' Virginia, MN? NO PROBLEM!!! We would just plug in some headphones and watch a movie or try and destroy each other with some Super Saiyan skillz.

Of course we also tried to do our homework >_> (Mostly we slept...that's probably why neither of us graduated with honors.)

Sometimes I wonder what kids did before this kind of technology existed...I imagine some of them ended up throwing their siblings out of the car door (obviously child safety locks didn't exist).

Friday, November 4, 2011

AS IF I NEEDED MORE REASONS TO WANT TO CRY!!!!

So, Supernatural is definitely the most heartbreaking piece of crap show ever. (By this I mean that I love it and I hate its ability to break my heart and it's wonderfulness and goddamn attractive and endearing cast/character list.)

The most recent episode, "The Mentalist," literally made me curl around a pillow in a fetal position with every intent to cry epic tears of ugly crying.

Seriously. Two frickin' lines. That's all it took.

WHY DO THEY KEEP TEASING US ABOUT ELLEN?! HAVEN'T WE THE FANS, let alone Sam and Dean, SUFFERED HER LOSS ENOUGH?

How dare they have her mom-ing from the grave! It's painful to think that even in death she's watching out for the boys and trying to help Dean because she can tell he's in a butt-ton of pain.

**Side note: My roommates and I watched this episode in my parents' basement while my mom was home. I mentioned that my mom might watch with us if she was bored enough and my roommate was concerned considering how often we squeal and generally make grabby hands at the TV during these episodes.

I told my roommate not to worry about it- I think my mom will understand that if there's anything even hinting at gay or Cas or gay and Cas we're dead to the world.

End side note***


Anyway! So I love that they're bringing back that whole "let's all mistake Sam and Dean for a gay couple" thing. They even threw in some Campbells that were "brothers" as a cover up- LOL!

But, long story short, we're all missing Cas. A lot. Especially Dean.

GAH! MORE CAPSLOCK IS NECESSARY FOR THIS!

EVER SINCE CAS BETRAYED HIM, DEAN HAS HAD A HARD TIME TRUSTING PEOPLE.

(In the interest of full disclosure- this had me in a fetal position so fast it's almost embarrassing.) Dean misses his angel and felt so betrayed that he can't even really trust is own brother T_T

I WEEP!

I'm convinced that Cas is coming back as a human. Nothing short of it happening differently will convince me otherwise.

(Also- the horrible part of me is glad this Amy bullshit is done. Seriously. I was tired of it the second episode they mentioned it.)

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

NaNo!!!

For those of you who don't recognize this term outside of it meaning tiny, NaNoWriMo means National Novel Writing Month- which November is.

The purpose of this is to encourage writers to write 50,000 words in one month (about 1,666 words a day)- this is about the equivalent of a 200-page book. It's supposed to be a finished story- but I don't think anyone is too disappointed if they reach the goal but aren't finished.

Anyway, I've always been interested in doing this. But I have a terrible habit of not being able to write anything of decent length (to date, my longest story was a little over 6,000 words).

But now- novel idea in hand, a job I don't particularly care for, and epic amounts of computer time available, I will begin this challenge!!!

So sit back and enjoy the ride as I will undoubtedly be coming on here to whine about how I have writer's block or how my story sucks!

Hopefully you'll get daily updates on whether or not I'm succeeding!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I miss sunlight...

So, I still work a night job at a hotel. Let me tell you- living in the northern hemisphere and working at night really cuts down on the amount of sunlight I get to see every day.

I go to work after the sun sets, leave work before the sun has risen, and wake up when the sun is setting.

Do you have any idea how depressing a thought that is? I'm practically a vampire! Except minus the drinking blood thing because I personally find that really nasty and distasteful. (Probably because I'm a woman and thus am forced to deal with bleeding I would give almost anything, short of getting preggers, to end.)

Anyway...I really wish I had something exciting to tell the internet, but I really don't.

Still trying to write a book...I have an idea of a plot and some really epically awesome scenes- it's the filling the space in between that gets me.

Why can't I ever have a useful imagination? You know, one that will actually give me a complete story rather than "OH GOD THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!!! AND THIS CAN HAPPEN TOO! AND THIS!!!"

But no, I get stuck with the ADD crackfest that is my brain. I seriously can't do anything without it trying to make me go crazy via awkward observation or plotbunny.(For those of you who aren't down with "fan speak" plotbunny is when there's enough of a hole in a plot for you to run wild with the "what if" scenarios. Or it's just plain hinted at. Whichever.)

Umm....I have been a terrible person and avoided writing this fanfic for about two months now. I feel awful because it was for someone's birthday. But I wrote it three different ways and I wasn't happy with any of them so I figured I would just keep going until I was satisfied and just beg forgiveness when I finally get around to posting it.

I feel incredibly dumb without school. My job doesn't require much thought or education and I like to learn things and I feel like the universe is shrinking around me because I spend all my time working or sleeping. I hate it. No amount of feeling burnt out is worth this disgusting gnawing in my gut that basically tells me my life is over and I wasted four years on an education I'll be paying for for the next ten years and isn't good for anything except saying that I have a BA.

Also- I have no social life. I barely see my roommates for more than a couple hours at a time; and rarely together. Sundays we get together with a few friends and do some home cooking and generally enjoy life...but then I head off to work while they all hang out and watch The Walking Dead.

Okay. That's enough of me being all teenage-level angst and depression for you guys!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Supernatural: Season 7 Premier

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, now onto the good stuff.

I didn't know it was possible to both hide in absolute horror and to love an episode so fucking much!

There was so much love but so much not okay between me and the Supernatural premier. I ALMOST CAN'T STAND IT!

Aside from the heartbreak of Cas basically telling them that if he sees Sam, Dean, or Bobby again he will end them- HE DIDN'T KILL THEM RIGHT AWAY!

Also- Dean being called a pet. <3

And the terrible sick scene of dead angels in Castiel's personal favorite corner of Heaven? FUCK YOU PURGATORY SOULS! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!

Anyway, then there's Dean rebuilding the Impala- again. Following Castiel's movements because he wants to know what his poor little lost angel is up to. T_T

AND SAM!!!! AND BOBBY!!! FOREVER TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO TO SAVE/END CAS!!! (And, on a related note, Dean's utter heartbreak because he can't do anything so he's just gonna fix his damn car. Also, DEAN IN A JUMPSUIT!)

God!Cas is awesome for the following reasons:
1. He's sexy. It's canon and fanon and thus cannot be disputed.
2. He's pansexual, as I've always suspected. He doesn't care who or what it is.
3. He's a complete and utter badass.
4. He smites people- particularly Christians and Republicans which makes me lol greatly.
5. His demeanor makes for some great lines.

God!Cas is not awesome for the following reasons:
1. He allows het fans to interpret his actions as anti-Destiel. (THEY'RE JUST ON A BREAK OKAY?!)
2. He KILLS ANGELS IN AN AUTISTIC MAN'S TUESDAY AFTERNOON!
3. He allows Castiel's once pristine trench coat to fall into disrepair. IT WENT TO HELL AND BACK AND SURVIVED YOU SON OF A BITCH! You smite
4. He destroys Castiel's gorgeous face. (I admit- I was surprised. I didn't think they would pull a "your vessel is too weak!" thing. I figured that was too easy, but ooohhh welll.)


Now, some other amazing things about this episode:
1. BOBBY!!! Loving your boys and believing in Cas! <3
2. CROWLEY!!!! Facial hair and desperately hoping to conspire with the Winchesters! <3
3. SAM!!! I sad!face for you and your crazy! D:
4. IMPALA! YOU'RE BACK YOU BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF METAL! (Stop dying on Dean before he has to make a "don't make me lose you too" speech to you!)

OUR CAS WILL BE BACK! But fuck! Leviathan!Cas is obviously their way of allowing Misha to be himself again. I mean, seriously. What is this? It's like they filmed him pretending Cas went Dark Side and then put it in the episode.

And! Cas- your last word is Dean! How utterly heartbreaking and wonderful at the same time!

...Alright, I should stop. BUT NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A Day Well Spent

I got off my night shift at about seven this morning and drove to the nearest Walmart where I purchased season 6 of Supernatural.

The radio knew what I was doing, apparently, and immediately began talking about Jared Padalecki and "the guy who was in Days of Our Lives, whatever his name is." Clearly they're big fans who understand how ridiculed Jensen is by his cast mates.

So at that point I'm like:



Because I'm fairly certain the only reason they would say that is if they were paid to. ...Or else they're massive fans.

Anyway, I woke up around 3 and finished Percy Jackson: The Last Olympian. (WHICH I LOVED. Rick Riordan is one of my favorite people right now.)

Around this time, my roommates were both around and we spent about a half hour thoroughly amusing ourselves by piling onto one of our beds and mocking each other.

We then decided that, instead of making ourselves good, informed, people via a serious discussion about arts by Colum McCann, we would order pizza (which we neither need nor deserve) and watch Supernatural.

We ended up watching the more interesting episodes (read: the ones with enough hilarity and gay that made the other episodes worth it).

I love it. SO. MUCH. I watched like...four or five episodes before work. Which is where I'm at now. Working. :(

Monday, August 1, 2011

Porn on the Internet (Or,This is when my mother weeps)

I have a bone to pick with some of the statistics floating around in the news. Okay...it's actually just one statistic and my mother will be horrified to read this but I need to get this out!

A recent statistic claims that social networking sites are not the number one use of internet.

I DO NOT AND WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS! EVER!

I'm sorry, but there's just no way that porn- the thing that has dominated the internet since it was born- would be taken over by Facebook.

Seriously- I refuse to believe it.

Now, I can understand the concept of social networking sites getting more traffic- Facebook alone probably has more unique users per day than all the porn combined. This makes sense, as it's accessible to people of all ages and generally won't offend the crazy old hairy bald guy walking behind you while you enjoy some internet.

But, the majority of the time it's a brief check to respond to an invite, look at a picture or post one was tagged in, or to upload pictures or whatnot.

The other 97% of the time you're on a porn website with Facebook open just for funsies.

I mean...come on. We're actually just a generation of creepers. We sometimes spend hours creeping around on profiles or through pictures, but I would say that's a small portion of Facebook users.

And they're just too embarrassed to watch porn...or they have no friends and have already watched all the porn.

But porn requires attention. You're certainly not going to spend an hour downloading a video- risking the health of your computer- just to have it on in the background.

Not to mention that there's so much more than just videos! There's all kinds of written smut on the internet, all kinds of comics and images in general that I would bet my nonexistent love life get more, uh, quality time than any social networking site.

But yeah, I guess my overall point is that while social networking sites may get a gazillion hits per day, they will never uproot porn from its place at the top.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

COMIC-CON!!!!!!!!!

So I went to Comic-Con International out in San Diego last week. This had been a life goal of mine for about ten years- TOTALLY DESERVED IT!

It was so wonderful! I got to walk around with roughly 30,000 people who mostly understood every reference I could imagine making.

Seriously, I don't know if I could have had a better time (aside from the fact that we missed our plane connections both ways because Delta kinda sucks apparently).

My friends and I were out there for a week and it was amazing! The weather was perfect (though we all got sunburned), the con was great, SeaWorld is FANTASTIC, and all around we had a great time as a group.

Also, I GOT TO HUG VIC MIGNOGNA!!!! And got his autograph! And he liked my shirt!!!!

AND I GOT TO SEE MISHA COLLINS IN PERSON! (Though I didn't get to give him the shirt I bought for him back in February >_> probably a good thing.) I also got to see JENSEN ACKLES and JARED PADALECKI!!! (But I haven't posted about how they should take over the world so they're a little less relevant to this post BUT NOT BY MUCH!!!)

Every Supernatural person that I love was there! Including Jim Beaver and Mark Sheppard (since the jerk couldn't come to ValleyCon where I could actually speak to him). The only ones missing were Richard Speight Jr. and Sebastian Roche (again, probably a good thing because I have loved Sebastian Roche for about fourteen years and probably would have told him that I miss his long curly hair even though I don't!!).

I also purchased a pre-signed Misha Collins autograph card just because I could. He came with a side helping of Rob Benedict and Julie McNiven! Yay!

Let's see...I MET SHERRILYN KENYON!!! The woman who practically destroyed any hope I have of being a normal person with her delicious smutty romance novels!! I told her to just write the next book in this one series and she told me she had rewritten it twice! I can't even bring myself to write enough for one book!!!

Um...I saw the Being Human cast and loved loved loved Sam Huntington telling us that he, Meaghan, and Sam Witwer had all had sex together, even if it wasn't true.

Dear God! I SAW JASON ISAACS!!! He stopped by the Harry Potter fandom panel and we were all like "OMG WE LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU PLAY A BAD GUY!!!"

Lastly- THEY GIVE AWAY SO MUCH SWAG THEY ALSO GIVE OUT BAGS TO HOLD IT ALL! I got like...four free shirts, three free books, seven different magazines and comics, a couple free bags if you include this lovely bag. Isn't it beautiful? I had to steal mine from some woman because I got frickin' Vampire Diaries which meant I was never getting anything for that crap.

Onto more serious things (not really), I kept a terrific video journal of what all we were doing and on which days. As soon as I get my computer to properly function, I will try uploading video to this bad boy! My brother got a good laugh out of them when I screened them...they're really bad and have swearing in them but I enjoyed doing it for all of 10 minutes on the trip!

Finally, as I mentioned SeaWorld before I want to say it again- it is FANTASTIC! If you ever have the chance to go, DO IT! (Bring lots and lots of sunscreen and water bottles!)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

LOL at Facebook

So, I recently determined that being allowed on Facebook at around 3 am is just about the worst possible thing for me to do.

I'm a night auditor, so it's not like any of my friends are on, but I will always be on. Because the actual amount of work we have to do ends at about 2 most nights (there are exceptions where we don't finish until like...5, but those are definitely the exceptions).

So I end up essentially spamming on peoples' walls and news in general.

This led me to believe that I should probably not be allowed on. Which led me to my settings page, hoping there was some kind of "lock-out" option for certain time gaps. (This should exist, BTW. People wouldn't be able to change it and might actually get their homework and other shit done.)

But I found no such thing.

Instead, I found "Account Security." Within "Account Security" is a list of places Facebook believes that I've been logging in from- based on my internet service provider and wireless carrier.

Here's the list of places it thinks that I've been:
May 26- Memphis, TN
May 27-28- Kansas City, MO
June 7-8- Back in Memphis
June 10- Sioux Falls, SD
June 11- Livingston, NJ
June 13-14- finally got it right with Fargo, ND.

I mean...seriously? I wish I traveled that much. But come on Facebook!

So I had a good laugh about their inability to actually locate me. If anyone is on the run from the FBI or IRS or something, don't worry, Facebook won't get you caught unless you stay in the same place for over a month.

In other news, still not king yet. Though I'm thrilled to be celebrating the 10-year Anniversary of the release of The Fellowship of the Ring movie this December! My life has never been the same since I learned what true obsession was from this glorious trilogy. *sigh*

(Anyone who didn't understand that, click here.)

In other, other news, I'm going to be a proper writer tomorrow and go buy a sad coffee at a Starbucks and spend my whole day writing. It's going to be wonderful. Because I'm too lazy to spend a half hour driving home and then back to work after only eight hours. (Somehow it doesn't seem worth it. So I guess I'm going to be trying gym showers after I exercise in the morning =/ )

Lastly, I'm torn between growing out my hair or cutting it again. Decisions, decisions. On the one hand, I prefer short hair because it's cheaper and I don't have to do anything to it. On the other hand, sometimes I want long hair.

It's currently at this awkward length where it's kind of uncomfortable- you know where it's too short to tie back but too long to ignore? It's also shorter than my brother's hair, which is sort of giving me a complex.