Another bathroom rant...

I figured it out. The ultimate reason why we all hate public bathrooms!

It's not because people might hear us, or smell us, or because we're nervous to pee when other people are around.

No.

It's because they don't touch the ground and zombies might shoot their arms out from under the stall wall and grab our legs or munch on our deliciously juicy calves.

Okay...so maybe that's a bit extreme. Doesn't mean I didn't think it while using a public restroom today.

I realized today that I'm having a panic attack and regressing to a childhood I wish I still had. I called my mom and told her I was going to be staying at the house this weekend and then bought myself a Mighty Kids Meal from McDonald's- their toys are based on the new show Young Justice, which is terrible. However, the Superboy toy is epic! He punches with the push of a button that also makes his "S" logo and eyes glow red!

And, for the record, one of my friends voted for Misha yesterday so I voted for Jensen. I'm still upset with E! for doing that to me.

The Worst Form of Torture

I had this horrible moment today when I came upon this: E Alpha Male Madness 2011.

As you can see, there are some very sexy men on this list.

As you can also see, this round is a big douche who has Jensen Ackles against Misha Collins.

How the hell am I supposed to pick between these two?!

The best logic I have is to flip a coin. That or go with the "Well, Jensen's picture is almost a threatening glare and Misha's is more of a 'What are you gonna do about it?' Meaning that Jensen is concerned that Misha will beat him."

Dear God I have no effing clue what to do with this.

E! You officially suck. While at the same time, you're epically awesome because you wrote this: "You SPN fans don't skimp on the enthusiasm for your boys, do you?"

No, no we do not.

Major Dilemma

I probably should have been an English education major. (I realize that I've said about sixteen different majors that I should have been, but I'm a little more serious about this one.)

Okay, so what I actually need to do is just pick a good story idea and write a book. That way I'm doing something useful that I like.

Not that I don't like my majors, but I need an education degree for one of them to be useful, a law degree for another, and at least a Master's for the other. And I am completely drained in the school area.

Oh well, I'm down to three presentations, two major projects, and two minor papers left until I graduate!

Still don't have a job yet...but I'm working on it!

Wow, Two Days in a Row

That was some epic fail, folks! Sorry about that!

Life is kind of kicking my ass right around now, so I apologize for the failings of amusing, daily blog.

Anyway, tonight I had my stats class as usual. Instead of doing useful things and listening to my prof preach some more about how everything I do needs to be professional, I tried to figure out a few reasons that stats classes should not exist.

I came up with pretty much the best one ever:

ZOMBIES WILL NOT BE DETERRED BY MATH!

If I'm being attacked by a hoard of brain-hungry zombies, I'm going to be throwing word problems at them. I'm going to raining fire and throwing all kinds of Molotov cocktails and grenades at them.

I will be destroying those bitches.

A few other reasons:

Basic math allows me to balance my checkbook and figure out baseball stats. I do not need calculus for either of these.

Class is boring. I love my professor, but I can't stand the class. I feel like the clock is mocking me with its ticking- like it's saying "You're never getting out of here, ever!"

Alright...I'm off to prepare a bunker for the zombie apocalypse rather than read stats books.

Baby Pictures

I was rummaging through some things of mine this weekend, instead of writing my 15-20 page paper that's due tomorrow, and found some baby pictures of myself.

You ever go "Dear God, what the heck happened to me?!"

I'm wearing pink in each of these pictures. I realize that I didn't really have much choice in what I was wearing, but still- I don't have anything that's pink really. Maybe two items...and they're socks.

Not entirely sure what happened there.

Trip down memory lane complete!

A Few Chairs in My Life

Chairs aren't that special...we sit on them and sometimes fall asleep on them. Some people put their coats or blankets or purses on chairs, and others decide to have all kinds of disgusting public sex on them.

Long story short- chairs are just furniture that we do whatever the hell we want with.

But there are three chairs in my life that...well, are special.

I'll go by the order I "met" these chairs.

The first chair is the captain's seat of my family's pontoon. It's in "captain" style, meaning that it has a nice high back, a large cushion, and two armrests.

This chair is awesome and special because it allows me to pretend I'm piloting The Enterprise. (You know...the ship from Star Trek. ) It's epic! I get to sit there and be like "Engage!!!" And the controls are an actual throttle so I get to just be really cool. Obviously.

It's also pretty comfy.

The second chair is the recumbent exercise bike in my parents' basement.

This one is not comfortable at all. But the setup lets me pretend to be an X-Wing pilot. It has a screen in front and two racing bike handles. Basically I bike and make little laser noises or say things like "Captain Skywalker, my fuel is low- can't make it back to the rendezvous point! I'm gonna have to make a crash-landing on the second moon of Hoth 6."

Don't judge me.

The last chair is what I happily refer to as "chair!bed." It's a low, square chair that pulls out into a mattress. It's glorious.

This chair is awesome because when I pull it out and put my TV pillow to supplement the back, I get to recline in it like I'm a queen in a throne.

Basically, things that enhance my ability to live in a fantasy world and not pay attention to reality are awesome.

And these three chairs win.

Terror...

So, we recently purchased all kinds of posters in my dorm. All kinds.

We put them up in our living room to try and make it less boring- since we took town our Christmas lights.

So our walls are now covered by things like: Harry Potter, Yoda, some Glee people, and...the two most impressive- Justin Bieber and a Zombie survival guide.

Pretty soon we'll copy the exorcism in Latin and put that up on our walls too. We will be prepared!

It kind of makes my week worth it.

I didn't get to go out last night for St. Patrick's Day...cuz I had work and things. Lame.

And I'm still in the hell that is hiatus, but Being Human is still going strong!!!

Alright, I'm off to hang with my dog before hanging with my roommies!

Ink Cartridges

This is a very good reason to go paperless, world! Printer ink is so ridiculously expensive.

I had to spend 45 dollars...for ink.

...never again. I'll forgo printing once I'm no longer in college.

In other news, I finally booked my plane ticket to Comic-Con!!!! Bwahahahahaha.

Also, I'm happy to say that Being Human got picked up for a second season!!! Yay!

And lastly, I am so close to done with school I can taste it! Just like...three more big projects. Then I'm done!

Now, off to do stats for two of my classes...gross.

Oh Wednesdays

Wednesdays are awesome...sort of. They're the days that I embrace my OCD and clean the kitchen and living room of my dorm. One of these days I will extend this into the bathroom...but I don't spend a whole lot of time in there (the last few days excluded- food poisoning is gone now!).

They're also the days when I'm stuck in stats class dying a little inside.

Today, it's laundry day instead of class. My professor got sick so I'm trying to be productive...at least the clothes got washed, right?

I put them on my bed so I would be forced to fold them before I try to go to sleep.

I have an earlier class on Wednesday, it's at 11:50 and I try desperately to survive it before exercising.

Wednesday is also Face Off night, and tonight is the season finale. And it got renewed for a second season! YAY!

Anyway, today I cleaned out one of our air vents because it was all dusty and linty because it's right by the laundry room. GROSS! Seriously.

So, there you have it. A nice Wednesday.

But...I really want a Popsicle (apparently this is a proper noun? spell-check is yelling at me for not capitalizing it). I need to go find something to snack on.

A few DDs

No, I'm not going to name a list of Designated Drivers. What would the point of that be?

Instead, I'm going to name a few really Disgusting Diseases. (Because you all need to know exactly how my brain works.)

Disease numero uno: EBOLA!
As much as I love this little guy, he's pretty nasty. Seriously, you bleed from everywhere, you vomit, you sweat, you form a river of diarrhea, it's just plain nasty.

Segundo: STOMACH FLU
Aside from the bleeding, everything I just listed above applies. I would live in a shower.

Disease the Third: DYSENTERY
Okay, this is gross. You just kind of...keep going to the bathroom (and potentially dying of dehydration amongst other things). Then, of course, you just don't feel well. Suck.

Disease 4: FOOD POISONING
Now, this makes the list because I currently have it. It's. Not. Fun! I've been trying to keep in good spirits about it, but after three bottles of apple juice, a Nalgene of water, and a muffin for today...I just want it to be over!

I hope you noticed the pattern here: Bodily fluids is what makes disease gross. That and polka dot patterns. They kind of make me want to vomit.

*EDIT* My roommate just reminded me of necrotizing facsciitis (or flesh-eating disease). Yes, it is as absolutely horrendous as it sounds.

Apparently...

People float.

I had a difficult time scuba diving because of this fact. It was difficult, and as such I didn't really enjoy my first experience so much.

But still it was fun. I can now assemble my scuba gear!

Class went over so I haven't really gotten to see Being Human yet...

That's all for today.

Hobos Live in My Living Room

Okay, not really, but there are often people sleeping in my living room. We actually keep air mattresses on hand just in case.

This week, we will have three different people squatting, stealing our food and our toilet paper.

But we love them, so it's okay.

I just find it amusing that we so often use something like an air mattress in a college dorm.

But then, we've gotten very good at packing over the years. If one of us doesn't have it, another one does.

Which is why we have enough blankets, pillows, and sheets to outfit a girl scout group.

Minnesota High School Hockey

For years, my family has been attending the Minnesota State High School League hockey tournament. It's pretty much the best four days of each year.

High school sports are when it's really the best to me. The athletes are dedicated and love what they're doing or else they wouldn't be wasting time on it. But it's still just about having fun and hanging out with your friends.

And being from the state of hockey, the high school hockey championships are really something to talk about.

I'm writing this while watching the championship game at home. I couldn't make it this year because of stupid homework- seriously, where are my priorities?

Though my high school team has never won, it's always a thrill to get sucked into the feeling of being a hockey fan and watching some of the best hockey you will ever see.

Really, it's a fantastic weekend of memories, and family, and friends, and fun...and I could probably wax poetic about it for an hour. But I won't do that.

Blogging

I watched an episode of House today where the patient is a blogger.

Of course, I got all excited because I blog...and then I realized that I really disliked this woman on the TV.

She spent half the episode blogging and paying more attention to her blog audience than her family and friends right there.

Yesterday I mentioned that the internet is anonymous, it's part of the allure to it. But it baffles me how someone can get totally lost in it.

...I just miss my TV shows. Everything is on hiatus. And I'm watching my puppy again this weekend.

I'm also stranded due to a blizzard. Seriously world, what is wrong with you?

***Forgive me my preachy moment***
I can't believe that horrible earthquake and string of tsunami! I was really concerned because I have friends over in Tokyo- but they're okay!

But yes, keep them in your thoughts!

If the internet is anonymous...

Why did I spend an hour last night trying to make a lot of my accounts private?

I find this funny, how we use the internet for anonymity while at the same time completely hiding who we really are.

So yeah, the internet isn't really as anonymous as we'd like it to be I guess...even though we use it to be recognized.

Whatever, I'm making my brain hurt.

Have a picture from Google:



This makes me think of chaos theory...one day I'll tell you all about it.

Ash Wednesday

My whole life, Ash Wednesday has been one of the most amusing days of every year.

Because every Ash Wednesday I have a black smudge on my forehead. And people will say: You have something on your forehead.

It's considerate of them, it really is. But I can't quite stop myself from raising my eyebrow and going "Yes?"

Then they don't get it so I have to point out which day it is.

Then they get embarrassed. And I feel bad.

Anyway, so today is Ash Wednesday but I went to mass at night- avoiding a day of people giving pitying looks and thinking I can't properly wash my face.

And now I'm off to do more work! I hate school.

12 Books I Own

I had a giant bowl of M&Ms in my dorm for about two weeks a month ago. I got bored one day while eating them and put them in front of books on my bookshelf.

I've decided to talk about each of these books briefly and try to convince all of you to read them.

1. The Count of Monte Cristo- Alexandre Dumas
This is a classic! Ultimately, it's meant as a triumph of the human spirit and an account of God working through mysterious ways...it's also about breaking out of prison. It's fantastic! Dumas is a brilliant writer and creates in-depth characters and riveting experiences for the reader.

2. Les Miserables- Victor Hugo
I think this might be one of my favorites. Set in France during the Napoleonic wars, it's the account of one Jean Valjean building himself up after society has pushed him down...it's another story about the triumph of the human spirit and faith! HA! Please, please do not be intimidated by its size. Read the abridged version if you must but it's so good it's worth every minute, I promise!

3. The Giver- Lois Lowry
This book could literally change your life. It's about a boy who is charged with keeping the memories of all of human history in a "perfect" society. It's actually a really dark book for a young readers' level, but you can really take what you will from it. It's just an interesting look at humanity.

4. Brave New World- Aldous Huxley
This one is actually like the adult version of The Giver. Except that it's more a look at government than humanity.

5. The Hobbit- J.R.R. Tolkien
Of course! Kid book or not I love this book! If you like fantasy this is a must-read. We get to meet Bilbo Baggins and discover where he got his love of adventure and excitement (clearly he cannot be a Jedi). And, of course, DRAGONS!

6. The Dumbest Generation- Mark Bauerlein
I bought this because the author is amazing. By that I mean that he's actually interesting to listen to. The book is about "Millennials," or those of us who were born 1985 and beyond. Mostly, it's a criticism of our inability to learn and use the resources available to us. It's really interesting, even though I disagree with some of it (some of us still read! I promise!)

7. Born of Night- Sherrilyn Kenyon
This is a random romance novel I own by my favorite author of such books. It's actually a sci-fi based one. Um...I'm actually not going to try to convince you too hard on this one- even though I did enjoy it!

8. Ender's Game- Orson Scott Card
I LOVE THIS BOOK!!! It's kid-level reading, but I read it in high school and ended up crying. It's set in the future when people are monitored for their ability to be soldiers. A young boy, Ender, is one of the children who make it past the initial level. I can't tell you too much because I'd just give everything away- BUT READ IT!

9. Cat's Cradle- Kurt Vonnegut
Oh Kurt Vonnegut, what can I really say about you? He's insane, but Cat's Cradle is so unique in it's crazy, almost religious, time-warping story that I was just awed. If that sounds too weird for you- Slaughter-house Five. So good.

10. Hadrian- Anthony Everitt
I love Ancient Rome. I love history. I love Hadrian. If you don't like any of these things, I wouldn't bother with this. But Hadrian is amazing!

11. The Constant Fire- Adam Frank
Since I can't stop talking about Dr. Adam Frank, his book would make this list. I bought this book so I could accurately describe the awesome that is Dr. Frank. His ideas surrounding religion and science are...perfect. One day I will tell you exactly how perfect, but if this debate interests you at all you really need to read this book.

12. The Lucifer Effect- Philip Zimbardo
I think people are fascinating. The things we will do and say and the ways we justify those actions are really neat. This book explains how good people can turn..well, evil.

Alright, that's a list of 12 books I own. I hope I've convinced you to pick one of them up from your local library :)

Air Freshener

Winter air in Minnesota is very dry. Air in houses in Minnesota is very dry and stale.

There's almost no circulation- at all.

Thus, the air kind of smells funny.

So, being that my room is a room inside a house in Minnesota it follows these principles.

I don't like when my room smells funny; I like when my room smells fresh and clean and...pleasant.

That's how I ended up with an air freshener.

I meant serious business when I bought this thing- it's one of those nice Febreze Noticeables so it's got all kinds of wonderful scents to choose from and a timer so that pretty smells are occasionally pumped into the air.

But I've learned that when Febreze says that it's "noticeable" they mean it. It's so "noticeable," in fact, that I had to move it for fear of literally suffocating from the smell while I slept.

And I put it on the "low" setting! God help me if I were to ever switch it to "high!"

I get that they're not really intended for small rooms, they're supposed to be in large, public areas with lots of traffic.

But my room isn't exactly small, and I leave my door open during the day so that what little circulation does happen will actually happen.

Their product works at least- and as advertised. So if you're looking for an air freshener, Febreze Noticeables should probably win.

Writing is hard T_T

First off, the two Ts and underscore are a crying face. (Every time I do an emoticon I have to explain it to my family, so better safe than sorry.)

It's been a writing intensive weekend for me. Pounding out something like 15,000 words between paper writing and project writing and blogging.

So many words! It's hard to believe I have any left!

I promise better posts this week, I'm just a little drained and I still have about three more hours of writing to go tonight because apparently the purpose of college is to try and break you two months before you're free forever.

So basically I'm going to have a fantastic freak-out this week in which I eat everything in sight and sit around bawling about everything. Sounds fun, right?

Shower Conversations

I don't know if y'all do this, but I have conversations with myself in the shower.

It's the time when I discuss things with myself that I generally don't feel necessary to bring up to people. I also have arguments with imaginary versions of people who are irritating me.

Recently, I had a conversation with myself about the differences in BC, BCE, AD 1, AD 2, and CE.

I'm a history major- these things matter.

So, the competitors are:
BC- Before Christ
BCE- Before Christian Era
AD 1- Anno Domini
AD 2- After Death
CE- Christian Era

Mostly, I wanted to determine which I would personally use- they all mean the same thing; the BC ones measure before year zero and the rest are post-year zero.

History uses BCE and CE.

I determined that I support the use of BCE. It makes total and complete sense over BC- As the last few years of BCE Jesus was alive and thus it can't really be Before Christ.

It's the other ones that really concern me.

Of course understand why AD became After Death- it's easier to remember and mostly makes sense. Except that you would technically have to start counting somewhere between 25- 32 AD (I'm not gonna put a specific date here since it's kind of up in the air).

Now, I also mostly support CE. Christian Era is fairly legit...except that they weren't technically called Christians for a while.

Which brings me to my point of why I support calling it Anno Domini.

Since Jesus wasn't really knowledgeable of his divinity until around year zero (he acknowledges God as his father somewhere around then), he kind of wasn't really "Our Lord" yet. Thus making Anno Domini, "The Year of Our Lord," make total sense to begin there.

But that's where the political part of me is like "Just use CE because it's so much more politically correct."

Ultimately, I got out of the shower thinking that the historians probably made a good move in the BCE and CE notations.

Good for them!

Swamped: Can't Blog Much

I promise a spectacular post tomorrow, but today I'm just kind of drained.

Four major writing projects will do that to you.

So I regret to say that today's post will be less than stellar.

Today, I'm going to briefly tell you about watching medical shows (e.g. House) with nursing students.

Don't do it.

Once they begin their actual nursing classes, it's over. Just leave if they turn the show on.

The problem is that House is almost entirely unethical and sometimes things get dramatized or are just wrong.

And they will point out every single thing!

We all get this way about something- for them it's this.

I suppose it goes for anyone working in/going to a hospital a lot.

We get it, it's a fictional show and it doesn't work like that in real life.

Got it.

Good.

Blog Fail

I intended to do this before my night class, but that never happened. So here I am at 10 PM remembering that I suck and didn't do this.

I'm going to tell you a story about what happens when I walk into an empty house.

As I mentioned once (in this post), I have a sort of weird paranoia.

I went home to watch my dog for a few hours, only to discover the little doggy gate we have wasn't up where it usually is.

I walk in a little more, a little concerned about Sophie going downstairs to do some business (if you know what I mean), but she was in my parents' room so I figured it was okay.

Then I walked her to our patio door, only to discover it was not locked...or even closed.

Those two things? Freaked me out!

I grabbed a steak knife and proceeded to walk through the house turning on lights and surveying a room like they do in all the cop shows.

I guess my point is- don't surprise me if I don't know you're in my house!

Onto other news, Being Human- I'm officially obsessed.

If you haven't started watching it- you should! Mondays, Syfy, 8 central. This last episode was probably the best thing I've seen since April when I started watching Supernatural. Seriously.

...I should probably find a job where I just sit around and review TV shows or movies. That would totally combine my loves of writing and watching things.

I'm done self-destructing for today.

Happy Hump Day!

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

Goya (In which I link spam and get excited about art)

I'm sure none of you know this, but I have a minor obsession with Francisco Goya. He's a Spanish painter from the 17-1800s, and is rather famous for his series of black paintings.

If you aren't familiar with his works, check it out here! (If you don't do this, you might be a little confused.)

Now, as my lovely profile box says, I'm a Spanish minor. Now, my school recommends that you study abroad, especially if you have any kind of language concentration.

Now, because I have no actual ability to focus, I have also taken art and psychology classes during my schooling careers.

That right there? EXACTLY why I have been exposed to Goya and his amazing works.

Goya is fascinating- his Black Paintings series can be analyzed in about a thousand different ways (though his dementia is definitely blamed). But the thing is, they've all got this terrific contrast! It's not just dark, bleak, gory, depressing pictures- they've got this brightness that almost implies what he found good about life.

And his paintings of the royal families! They're actually really amusing political commentaries. He didn't bother to idealize this family, even going so far as to subtract from them (mostly what's criticized are the eyes, they're dull and blank).

But my favorite is this one: The Third of May 1808. Because I love symbolism and color and history and this HAS IT ALL!!!

The history of Spain will pretty much make any historian drool because they've been invaded/exploited so often and yet managed to maintain their culture and language through almost all of it (the Romans kind of owned though...).

This particular painting is about the invasion of Napoleon's armies and the massacres that took place. Your eyes are immediately brought to the Spanish man wearing a bright white shirt, arms wide and his face pleading- but none of the soldiers with guns are looking.

Beside him is a pile of bodies of those already executed.

When I went to Spain, I got to see these paintings (and more, but I love him okay?) in person! I was putting my fangirling of other things to shame- which is actually impressive.

Seriously? One of the best things that has ever happened to me.