I have lived in Minnesota my entire life. I have driven around to probably 90% of it. And I love it, dearly. In fact, convincing people that Minnesota is a great place to live despite its cold winters is one of the thing I consider myself best at.
But right now, I'm deeply shamed by my association with my beloved home.
For those of you who don't know, the Minnesota legislature just approved a vote on an amendment to the Constitution of the State. This amendment would destroy any hope of gay marriage becoming legal for Minnesota.
Okay, so it wouldn't destroy it, but the logistics of amending a Constitution to repeal this amendment are extremely costly both in time and money.
So here's me getting on my soapbox, once again, to try and convince my loyal readers that this amendment is bullshit.
There are some main arguments against gay marriage that I hope I will be able to counter well enough in this:
That gay marriage will destroy the institution of the family.
That gay marriage will destroy the institution of marriage.
That being gay is wrong.
That being gay is a choice.
So, on the issue of number one- the family. I understand family. No, really, I do. I come from a completely nuclear little family with a mom, dad, myself and my brother and our dog; I have 16 cousins between the two sides and I know their names and the names of all of my aunts and uncles; and there is virtually nothing that we won't all do for each other.
I get it.
What I also get is that most of my friends have parents who have been divorced and remarried, they have half-siblings and sometimes more step-siblings than they can bother to remember. And I'm fairly certain that some of them consider me and my family to be more like family to them than those elusive cousins and extended family.
That whole "you can't choose your family" idea? Strictly genetically, it's true. But genetics does not a family make. Yeah, in my little privileged world it works out that we all happen to share DNA and like each other; but that world is mostly a fantasy nowadays.
The only real argument that comes from this "destroying the family" thing is the fact that homosexuals, until now, have been forced to repress who and what they truly are. And now that they're finding the courage to come out, oftentimes they are separated from their family.
I'm sure it's awkward, I honestly can't even imagine what it must be like to one day have your father tell you that he was never attracted to your mother and had you and your siblings just because "that's what he was supposed to do." It's not that they don't still love their children, hell it's not even that they don't love their wife...it's just not what they were meant to have.
Which leads me into argument number two- that homosexuals destroy the institution of marriage.
Uhm...WHAT? Have you looked at the divorce rates these days? Over half of first marriages end in divorce.
You want marriage to be more sacred and lasting? LET MORE PEOPLE GET MARRIED! The sheer numbers will get that percentage down.
Do you even remember why divorce was originally allowed? To stop men from killing their wives when they got bored of them?
Marriage never has been, nor will it ever be, something truly special in a legal sense.
Marriage as a sacred rite, on the other hand?
Okay, as I said, my parents are still married. Lovely year number 27 this year. I'm also Catholic, which means that I get that marriage is forever unless annulled by the Church.
But really? Let's just focus on this one little fact: NOT EVERYONE IS OF THE SAME BELIEFS AS ME!
(Granted, this kind of goes against my whole argument that everyone should agree with me- but I'm right and they're wrong so I choose to ignore this.)
To impose your religious beliefs on someone is to take away their rights to freedom of thought and religion. (Please see the Constitution of the United States of America.)
To impose your religious beliefs on someone is to take away their right to equality of freedom and dignity. (This is where I happily give you all some info from the Universal Declaration of Human Rights...yet again.)
Article 16.
* (1) Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.
* (2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.
* (3) The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.
Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as implying for any State, group or person any right to engage in any activity or to perform any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights and freedoms set forth herein.
Regardless of that happy little note about the family being under protection by society and the State, let's look at that last little italicized bit. To "protect" the idea of family under this is a direct violation of their dignity, of their freedom to have a different system of beliefs and opinions. Above all, it takes away their rights to form a legally recognized family.
Lastly, I'm going to address the final two notes together: being gay is not wrong, and it is not a choice.
And even if it was a choice- they have protected rights to make said choice.
So, for all those hyper-religious people who believe that being gay is sinful or whatever, let me pose this question: Why would homosexuality exist if God didn't want it to be so?
The Bible says we are created in His image. It also tells countless stories of God destroying those things He deemed unworthy. Why, then, would homosexuality be allowed to exist?
Unless, of course, you want to accept that God's hand is no longer present in the world. In which case- why are you fighting so hard for bigoted beliefs?
Why fight for something that seems so wrong when Jesus asked us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves? When Christianity itself is based solely on the ideas of love and good will and choice?
And again, I should emphasize that it is not a choice. There is a legitimate difference between homosexuals and their heterosexual counterparts. But really? Who the hell really cares?
Unless you really want to discriminate based on their genes...in which case I will follow Godwin's Law and call you a Nazi sympathizer which is totally inappropriate and yet I think it effectively gets the point across.
From a biological standpoint, yeah, homosexuality doesn't make a lot of sense. It doesn't allow for procreation- which ultimately makes them evolutionary failures. And yet...they persist!
In fact, this is awesome because it works so well with the family argument. Sure, it's not what was once described as the ideal, but how can it be bad that two people who love each other will go to great lengths to adopt children who sorely need loving families?
Inappropriate jokes about population control aside- I think it's awesome.
Now is the part where I get emotional. This is the part where I say that I am tired of people insulting and demoralizing people I care about.
Because despite the beliefs of my Church and despite my completely heteronormative upbringing and lifestyle, most of my friends are affected by this war. (And yes, war is the word I want to use there despite the fact that many people will find it offensive given that we are still at armed war and people are dying for those causes.)
I don't like that my friends- who are like family to me- are being discriminated against because they happen to be different.
I don't like that my friends have had society tell them that it's wrong to be who they are.
I don't like that my friends, at one point, had to struggle with their sexual identity because that came with the realization that they were going to be hated by people who didn't even know them... simply because they're attracted to their own sex.
I don't like that my friends have to plan weddings or ceremonies around these stupid, fucked up laws that will stop it from legally meaning anything anyway.
I love that my friends are all strong enough to deal with this crap and take it, hoping that one day it will all be better.
But there are so many who aren't strong enough. There are so many who give up and go against what they want so they don't have to feel like a social pariah.
So, this is for my friends, certainly. But it's also for all those people who have lived lies to avoid hatred, for those people that will continue to live lies to avoid being "caught."
But honestly, my hope is that this is actually for the future. That kids growing up don't have to be afraid when some discover that they are homosexual. That kids growing up don't have to feel strange when they have two moms or dads.
This is for every look of hatred that I hope will never be seen by those kids.
This is for my hope that the next generation doesn't have to grow up bigoted, scared, and repressed.
This is for my hope that people will prove me wrong and not be colossal jackasses and just accept the differences between each of us.
This is for my belief that the only argument that should ever need to be made is this:
Love is love.
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