Celebrity Crushes

After Bobbie and my brilliant sociological breakthrough "Chutes and Ladders," we tried to find some actual applications for this. That's how we ended up analyzing ourselves- particularly our affinity for celebrity crushes.

America is kind of obsessed with celebrities. No, really. We are. And...honestly? It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Sure, they're attractive.

We get to watch them do things the average person would never even dream of doing (you know, like getting married while sky-diving and other such nonsense).
And we get to be voyeurs into their lives.

We love being involved in other peoples shit because we don't want to deal with our own.

But, in general, they will never love/care about us back.

So, we decided that celebrity crushes are a glorious mix between chutes and ladders. You take an initial chute (i.e. Misha Collins is f***ing amazing, or Chris Colfer is adorable), and then no matter how many ladders you might try and take...there's no hope. That chute is forever going to influence every ladder you take.

Sure, you might be able to learn more things...but they're just going to enforce it! The chute is like that damn red sock tinting all your white undies and socks a horrendous shade of pink. And you just take it. Because all it's doing is adding to your insane love of a person you've never met.

And if you have met them, [insert deity of choice here] help you! They could probably pee on your face and you would find it amusing...possibly even like it.

In conclusion, celebrity crushes defy all rationale and are probably going to be the downfall of the human race.