Climate Change and Evidence for It

I've noticed something important today: it's November, I live in Moorhead, and there is no snow on the ground. This is unheard of. Honestly, those three things have never been in a sentence together in my memory.

I also noticed that there are several types of trees hanging around. There are the Evergreens, the Leafy, the Underwear Models, and the Naked.

This is how I define them:
The Evergreens- They're completely covered. They exist to be green forever. If you don't know what I mean by an Evergreen, think of a Christmas tree. They're fluffy and glorious and stand proudly through all the seasons.
(I consider myself an Evergreen)

The Leafy- These are the trees that are holding onto their leaves well. For some reason they're hanging on and each branch has at least 4 leaves.
(I think if I were to assign a group of people to this category- I would say these are adults with 9-5 jobs. Their lives kind of suck, but they have a job and potentially homes and children and other things that are "life-affirming" and all that.)

The Underwear Models- You know these trees. They're the sad ones that have like...6 leaves still glued to them and refuse to fall off and give up even though they're already dead.
(College students. Definitely. We pretend that we can handle everything, but really we're just empty shells waiting for graduation so we can become Leafy.)

The Naked- The sad ones that were tricked by their internal clock into thinking that it's winter (crazy right? It's only NOVEMBER). They are bare, and pathetic, and envious of the grass around them which is still green and being mowed.
(These are the potheads that they describe in those commercials. The ones that can no longer do anything because they're amorphous blobs.)

There are also various bushes and things. But I don't really care about them.

Then I started questioning what these various trees are thinking (hence this post). This is what I came up with:
The Evergreens-

"I'm so glorious! Life is beautiful because no matter what I look like my natural, wonderful self! I can't wait for snow because then I'll sparkle with its beauty as well! Christmas is just around the corner and I am a STAR!"

The Leafy-

"Ha! I am victorious and don't look completely ridiculous. There's no snow yet, so it's not winter! I enjoy having foreseen how ridiculously warm it was going to be. I'm going to get a wonderful sparkle layer of frost every night (in December, since it's too warm for frost now and won't be cold enough EVER or at least until November is over).

The Underwear Models-

"I'm glad I caught on that it would be warm early enough to maintain a few leaves. But I wish I hadn't exerted that effort."











The Naked-

"FML. F*** Minnesota. F*** climate change. F*** all the trees that don't just look like they've up and died. F*** the green green grass around me which should be brown and crispy and so dead it's not even funny. F*** this strange girl taking pictures of me to mock me on the internet."

BONUS:
The Bushes and the Grass-


"HA! WE NEVER LOOK STUPID EVER!"