Maturity is a lie

That whole "with age comes maturity" trope? Yeah, that's complete bullshit.

It really doesn't matter how old you are, fart jokes are still funny.

I've noticed there are a two main time frames when people think they've finally "matured":

1. The Junior High Phase
Junior High kids suck. I don't quite know why it is that 12/13/14-year-olds think they're so cool, but they do. They disrespect their parents, they disrespect their teachers, and they just kind of disrespect everyone on the planet. They think the entire world is stupid and out to get them.

I remember junior high, and I remember hating it. People become spiteful and cynical and are just generally nasty. Our egos swell up during these years and we basically revert to the stone age.

I sum up these years in two years: rumors and gross.

My point about these years- you think you know everything until ninth grade rolls around and you get your head shoved in a toilet by a senior football player. This longstanding tradition is important!!! Without swirlies, freshmen would keep their cocky attitudes and drive teachers to suicide.

At this point, you've finally discovered that no, you don't k now everything and you can't take over the world- a larger person could probably eat your face off for even thinking about it.

2. Senior year of high school/Freshman year of college
This is a tricky phase. You're on top of the world senior year of high school. It's possible that no one can touch you because you just turned 18 or just got a car. You can drive, you can vote, and you only have to pass your classes and then you're free of the unconstitutional establishment that is public education (I say unconstitutional because it's generally considered cruel and unusual punishment- except that it's obviously not unusual...only cruel is the worst ways).

So, after procrastinating all that year, you've either dropped out and joined the workforce (at which point this no longer applies because I'll get to that later) or entered college.

College freshmen are some of the snottier people I've met. They're expressing their "freedom" in several different ways. They'll drink and publicize it because they think it's special, they'll give you those "my god are you stupid" looks when you ask them a simple question.

They've "transitioned" into adulthood and they are flaunting it (because they haven't realized yet that their moms are still going to do their laundry for them and they don't have real jobs and thus aren't actually adults or even in the "real world" yet).

My point is- you don't really know jack shit until you're out in the real world. By which point you have hopefully realized that maturity is a lie. You gain responsibility and skills for time planning and interests that are a little more "adult" (read: realistic) than when you were a kid.

But you're still going to laugh when someone gets kicked in the nuts or says something like "penis."