Going to Granny's Part 1

Hopefully, most of you have enjoyed a grandmother's love/affection/food. It's this last one I'm going to focus on for now.

I love my maternal grandmother dearly, but going to her house is like asking to become the next spokesperson for Over-eaters Anonymous.

Every time I step into her house, I'm instantly in the kitchen eating whatever is sitting out. Because there is always something sitting out.

Sometimes it's just the standard candy dish. Sometimes it's cookies for whichever holiday happens to be coming around. Sometimes it's leftover fruit.

And sometimes it's those damn caramel rolls that have ice cream in the recipe. (They're delicious and wonderful. But I struggle to ignore the fact that vanilla ice cream was melted onto the bottom of the pan the rolls were baked in.)

So yes, the food is wonderful.

But if there's one thing present even more than just the food lying around, it would have to be butter.

If you've seen the movie Julie and Julia, I'm sure you remember her little tangent on butter and how nothing amazing is made without it. I'd have to agree.

Better yet, if any of you are foodies and follow Food Network- Paula Deen has her own line of pans- one of which happens to be specifically for melting butter.

Butter is essential to the world of cooking. And it just makes shit taste good.

Now that I've explained that, I'll give you an example:

Say you're cooking hashbrowns, and the recipe calls for one stick of butter.

My grandmother will use three sticks. Three.

We also have this little treat called Butter Coma: a pound of cheese, a pound of butter, and a package of imitation crab. You put it on Ritz crackers. It's delicious...and likely to give you a heart attack.

So yes, that's what a typical trip to my grandmother's house is like.

...other times we just go to the casino.