Why I passed 6th Grade History

Sixth grade is kind of a wonderful time in the Moorhead school program. You've just finished fifth grade- making you the top dog at the elementary schools- and you're now the top dog at the middle schools.

This is, of course, before your life becomes complete and utter shit when you reach junior high and just want to die.

But moving on, one of the best parts about sixth grade is the history aspect.

See, in sixth grade, you get to spend an entire month on Egyptians. You get to learn all about their civilization and the cool things they did.

You get to make papyrus (sort of), learn how to read and write hieroglyphs (sort of), and just generally be cool.

Being that I had been obsessed with Egypt since I was in second grade, I was practically in heaven. Also, it was right around my birthday- So I was pretty excited.

Now, my twelfth birthday was the weekend before our big unit test.

I was having a birthday party on Friday, of course, because we were twelve and you can't drive when you're twelve. So you have to try and make it work.

Turns out, one of the girls who came over not only loved Egypt and stuff as much as I did, she was also a partial-insomniac.

So, when everyone else was trying to sleep, we were awake watching The Mummy and The Prince of Egypt.

We claimed we were "studying."

Now, one of the trickiest parts of our test was going to be the section on mummification. Don't ask why, it was just to justify what we did next.

We decided that hands-on experience was crucial to us passing this test.

Now, toilet paper and blankets are nothing like cotton wraps, and confetti from noise-makers is nothing like embalming fragrances, salt is salt- thank goodness-, and my pink plastic tea set (the pot, milk, cream, and sugar containers at least) is nothing like canopic jars.

But none of that was going to stop us. We were studying for our tests, darn it!

We picked the girl on the couch because that's similar to the embalming table...right? Sure it didn't tip to allow drainage, but enough salt would dry her out just find.

It was all fine. We got her "wrapped" and popped our noise-makers and placed the jars by her head.

...her waking up was kind of like something out of a horror movie. She sat right up, throwing all the blankets and pillows off her body while making this horrible groaning noise!

We were terrified.

Then she just kind of grumbled and went back to sleep like she hadn't been buried under a mountain of stuff.

We just kind of giggled nervously before decided that 4:30 was a good time to go to bed.

We both got As on the test.