My Superpower

When I was younger, I was pretty sure I wanted to fly.

...Except that I was afraid of heights. But whatever, I would fly dammit!

Later, I started thinking that telekinesis is probably the coolest thing ever. It would still be sweet to fly, but maybe if my telekinetic powers were strong enough I could do that anyway.

Sadly, as I got older and no power had manifested, I had to accept that I probably was never getting superpowers unless I got into some horrendous scientific accident. (Nevermind that I may or may not have taken chemistry classes in the hopes of this happening.)

But I've decided that while I may not have a badass superpower, I do have a talent:

I recognize actors and voice actors like nobody's business.

It's sad, and yet true. I've been trained to remember names, faces, voices, and a brief history of their work.

It's kind of pathetic actually- all this brain power and what do I use it on? Basically pretending I'm a spy stalking celebrities.

And it's not even useful. Aside from playing Six Degrees of Lord of the Rings, it's not like any of it is relevant to my life.

I can't move shit with my mind or fly- and that's really sad. But whatever, this is my real life superpower.